Text to Haller

[xp_alias]

[1/2] You're a therapist, right?
[2/2] I need you to fix my assistant. I think he's an animal hoarder.

Comments

[xp_legion]

[1] I get a stipend for working with Muir and the Institute. If you're unlucky enough to need me you don't want someone distracted by meeting a patient quota for insurance reimbursement.

[2] Like I said, if he wants to talk to me I can try. There are a couple risk factors for hoarding, up to and including personal loss or a period of instability in your living situation, especially childhood. But, and I cannot stress this enough, "your boss says so" is not an adequate reason to start treatment.

[3] Also, I'm not taking responsibility for Warren. He has at least two assistants for that.

[xp_alias]

[1] There are no other adults in Warren's life who care enough - that makes him your responsibility by default
[2] But back to the kid - he thinks THIS is a fucking cat???



[3] I don't know what this is but it's not a cat
[4] And it ate my power bill

[xp_legion]

[1] I'm not good with animals. Is it supposed to look like that?

[2] Also: you were going to pay your bills?

[xp_alias]

[1] NOTHING is supposed to look like that, it's the size of a fucking park bench
[2] The guy who doesn't get paid is asking if I pay MY bills? Amazing

[xp_legion]

[1] The mansion has one cat with bat wings and another that's apparently some kind of faerie thing. I no longer have any concept of normal.

[2] I don't pay for utilities. Or, now, cat food. And whatever lizards eat.

[3] It's 4am. I should sleep.

[xp_alias]

[1] Are you in Scotland for Stockholm syndrome, because that's what that's called
[2] And don't rub it in. Come home and fix my kid, or take this raccoon thing off my hands - whichever

[xp_legion]

[1] Just for my dad

[2] therapist

[3] It's late.

[4] In the meantime invest in live traps.

[xp_alias]

[1] Wow, just like calling your first grade teacher "Mommy"
[2] Hope your dad-therapist helps you understand how deeply fucked up this mansion is
[3] I can't trap the kid - that's cruel
[4] Oh, you meant the raccoon thing

[xp_legion]

[1] Trust me, he knows.

[2] Night