re: "Hope", I'd like to claim it was because of my l33t hacker genius or something, but it was when I snooped in your bookshelf while trying to figure out what to get you for Christmas. God, that seems so long ago in some ways.
And I appreciate you being willing to wait until I'm ready. I think Doctor Samson would probably be best in most ways. Less emotional involvement on his part.
And I haven't puked. I just...wind up choking it back. Which burns, but it usually fits my mood when it happens.
It's really hard not to blame myself. Especially for being weak. I kinda cried a bit when you replied to my other post. Because in your room, I _didn't_ do the best right thing for that moment. I don't understand why you still trust me. _I_ don't trust me.
...It's kinda funny. We're not exactly talking, but I still can't do anything but be honest. That 'no facades' promise I made still holds me. Guess it's just the way I am.
-Doug
P.S.- In the interest of complete honesty, I noticed the way you signed the email. I guess I've been hiding behind formality. Hence the middle name thing. It's because I don't feel like I have the right to call people I hurt by nicknames. Angie had to do some pretty serious convincing to get me to call her 'Angie' again. Kinda silly, I guess. But I noticed. -D
Re:
re: "Hope", I'd like to claim it was because of my l33t hacker genius or something, but it was when I snooped in your bookshelf while trying to figure out what to get you for Christmas. God, that seems so long ago in some ways.
And I appreciate you being willing to wait until I'm ready. I think Doctor Samson would probably be best in most ways. Less emotional involvement on his part.
And I haven't puked. I just...wind up choking it back. Which burns, but it usually fits my mood when it happens.
It's really hard not to blame myself. Especially for being weak. I kinda cried a bit when you replied to my other post. Because in your room, I _didn't_ do the best right thing for that moment. I don't understand why you still trust me. _I_ don't trust me.
...It's kinda funny. We're not exactly talking, but I still can't do anything but be honest. That 'no facades' promise I made still holds me. Guess it's just the way I am.
-Doug
P.S.- In the interest of complete honesty, I noticed the way you signed the email. I guess I've been hiding behind formality. Hence the middle name thing. It's because I don't feel like I have the right to call people I hurt by nicknames. Angie had to do some pretty serious convincing to get me to call her 'Angie' again. Kinda silly, I guess. But I noticed. -D