xp_communication | Emails between Rogue and Marius

To: [Rogue]
From: [Marius]
Subject: A mission most interminable

My dearest Rogue;

The mission continues most bleakly.

I was led to believe Nevada was an entertaining destination. Having arrived, I now posit this quality must be limited to Las Vegas and Las Vegas only. Instead, we find ourselves consigned to playing bodyguard at a location in which we must walk thirty minutes to attain any sort of consistent cell service. What an exciting first mission for Bobbi.

Consensus between the engineers is that at least another day will be required for full assessment of the issue. We being their method of transportation, that means we, too, shall be pitching our tents in the shadow of the Blackbird tonight. Kyle's a good mate, but he is quite tall and I do not relish sharing a tent.

I attempted to engage Namor in conversation, but he prefers to devote his full attention to security. Or at least such is my assumption regarding why he abruptly flew off.

If not for the aliens this would be an utter waste of time.

Marius

*

to: [Marius]from: [rogue]subject: tell me more, oh warrior mine

Marius, my wandering spirit,

If at all, you can get a picture of Namor in his nethers, please know that I will be forever in your debt. Truly, my body yearns for his although my brain and spirit and soul and everything else say nay.

What is a woman to do?

Thank you for word from the battlefront. It has been a terrible time without you here, so much so that I don't know when you left, or the last time I heard your melodic voice. It might have been yesterday when I called but that means nothing at this point! Hurry back and stay safe. Use Bobbi's credit card if you want to maintain the veneer of 'I can be a peasant' -- consider it charitable aid.

If you also find aliens who are incredibly attractive and have genitals that seem somewhat compatible, also send a picture.

Yours in thirst,

Rogue

*

To: [Rogue]
From: [Marius]
Subject: Alas, intelligence is scant

Surely you need no assistance to glimpse Namor in nothing but his imperial regalia. Your scintillating wit, your ethereal beauty, Namor's hatred of shirts -- it is a waiting game, and nothing more.

It seems gauche to interrogate our visitors about the state of their genitals, although I must confess I, too, have questions. Whilst broadly humanoid, they appear to have some avian characteristics (feathers and so forth). Wither, then, their reproductive organs? Something external, like our own, or some manner of cloaca? A secret, third thing that shatters the mind to behold? Alas, none seem especially seducable, and in any case it seems inadvisable to risk contracting some venereal disease from beyond the distant stars.

. . . It occurs to me this is possibly the wrong thing to focus upon when confronted with intelligent life, but there we are.

Marius

*

to: [Marius]
from: [rogue]
subject: earth is lame

......forgive me for saying this, but perhaps Bobbi could lend some insight. She has experience with an avian lover.

Since the beginning of time, humanity has only been concerned with two things: can I eat it and can I fuck it.

I would like to know if these aliens are fuckable. I am not hungry right now.

Rogue

*

To: [Rogue]
From: [Marius]
Subject: The planet does not deserve us

Hm, a thought . . . no. No, Bobbi is a new teammate, and as such we have yet to establish the manner of rapport necessary to inquire as to the state of her fiancé's anatomy. There is a fine line between friendly banter and sexual harassment, after all.

Am I also somewhat concerned she would answer, honestly and in detail? Possibly.

Still, I suppose there is at least one day more for one amongst us to boldly go where no man has gone before. I shall be sure to keep you apprised. For now, I must sojourn back to the Blackbird and endeavor to sleep in these most primitive of conditions. Whilst aware of Australia's reputation with the rest of the world, I find the insects here to be of real concern.

Yours most desperately,

Marius