TXT to Cecilia

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

No fungus in my lungs.

Comments

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

...good?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

It is good! Marie-Ange poked me enough about it. I like not having fungus in my lungs. You probably have no idea why everyone's getting drunk and stuff, do you?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

I hear whispers, but not enough to put anything together. I'm sitting in my room eating takeout Thai, hoping I don't have to pump any stomachs.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Probably won't have to pump stomachs. The kids all went missing two years ago - kidnapped to Genosha which was really just the beginning of a really shit month for everybody. It's where I grew fungus.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Oh shit, that's today? Hoo boy. What do I even do now? Probably best to steer clear, right?

[A few seconds later]
Grew fungus?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

That's totally today. Dude, talking's totally cool. Just don't mention Genosha. Or anything near it. Probably don't mention school field trips. Or imprisonment. Just talk about food. Food's pretty safe. And yes, fungus in my lungus.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Yeah, think I'm gonna stay here, eat some pad see ew and watch more episodes of Dog Cops before I go to sleep. And maybe I'll avoid the mushrooms because, gross. Although, like, I'm glad you don't have spores blocking your airway now.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Good plan, ace. Oh, Dog Cops is on? I was watching a marathon of that reality show with the blond dude whose name I can't remember, the one where he survives everything even though he probably shouldn't. I also don't actually know the name of the show.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know who you mean. I swear I saw that guy in Avalon but it could also just have been another blond Hollywood type. I don't understand how anyone survives all that nonsense. Guy must be a medical marvel.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Dude, I could take you camping. I'm good at the survival stuff. But not _that_ good. I don't think anyone can realistically be that good. Probably he's like Bear Grylls or whatever that other dude's name is. I'm pretty sure he cheated.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Dude, I would love to go camping with you except I don't camp. Like, that much nature? No thanks. (Who is Bear Grylls? Sounds like a parody rapper.)

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

You could have a tent. You could bring a cooler. I wouldn't even make you kill your dinner. Bear Grylls was another survival dude but he went out with like, a camera crew and stuff instead of just himself. So I think he cheated. His show was Man vs. Wild. Didn't like it. Survivorman was better. Les Stroud is a survivalist I can respect.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Uh I feel like you could outlast them both. Which is why I'd be afraid to go camping with you

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Your confidence in me is heartening. But the woods out at Xavier's probably don't have ravening beasts bent on eating my insides, so I think I don't have as much to worry about as those other dudes supposedly do.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

You wanna go on the record as having said that? Think about what usually happens here

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Right, but no - seriously. What kind of ravening beast would want to eat my insides?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

They'd probably just grow back anyway (see I'm starting to get it)

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

But wait! That might make me the ideal meal for a ravening beast, don't you think?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Hm. Probably. I'll ask McCoy next time I fax him your blood work.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I'd be a never-ending meal!

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Right, but I think even hungry beasts get full? Besides, you probably don't taste that great. Like you kind of smell.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Lies! That is a bold-faced lie!

I'd totally taste awesome.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

After camping? I bet you'd taste like old beef jerky someone left out in the rain. With a hint of questionable cologne.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

My cologne is never questionable! My very French girlfriend tells me it's excellent.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

You sure she's not just being polite?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

She is exceedingly polite, but she bought it for me, so I'm gonna say she's not just being polite.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

I guess I just don't like that cedar-y, sandalwood-y smell, but then maybe ravening beasts won't either.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Blasphemer!