E-mail to Wanda

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Wanda}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: In advance, shut up.

Wanda, I need two things from you immediately. Neither of them are at all negotiable, and the sooner you can get here the better.

The first--the most important--is your absolute promise, your unbreakable word of honor, on the love we share as twins and by Mother's memory, that you will never breathe a single word regarding what transpires today to any other living soul. I mean it, Wanda. Not your best friend, not your lover, not your co-workers, not the random person at the bar you think might get a kick out of the story, nobody. You take this to your grave. Promise me.

Secondly: I need to borrow . . . well, maybe not borrow, since I doubt you'll be wanting--never mind. I need hygiene products. Of a feminine nature. Immediately. I also need you to show me what to do with them, since the only thing I remember from commercials is that wings are somehow important.

And I clearly can't go to anyone here with this . . . problem. So when you're able to stop laughing long enough to pick yourself up off the floor, because I know that's what you're doing, get over here. I'll be in my bathroom. Use your key to get into the suite.

Not a word to anyone.

Comments

[x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Wanda]

Wait. You got turned into a girl and...oh my God.

....
.....
......

I...I don't use pads, I use tampons. And oh my God...*dies laughing*

W.

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Wanda}
From: {Pietro}

Yes, yes, it's all very amusing. I don't care what you use, it's got to be better than this towel which I will now have to burn. Are you coming over here or not?

[x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Wanda]

I am, I am! I just...need to find the ones that won't. Well. Let me just say this: there are different sizes.

Well, at least the next time someone says you're suffering from PMS you can agree with them.

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Wanda}
From: {Pietro}

Well, there would almost have to be, wouldn't there? This couldn't just be easy, no. Because this is my life!

I think we have moved well beyond the P.

[x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Wanda]

There are several different kinds of pads as well but, yes, different sizes in tampons. How heavy is your period?

DMS, them. During.

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Wanda}
From: {Pietro}

Wanda, I have no basis for comparison, and thankfully won't be stuck like this long enough to develop one. Just bring everything and sort it out when you get here.

[x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Wanda]

One of everything it is, then. ...want some chocolate? *grins*

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Wanda}
From: {Pietro}

I'm really not in the mood to eat right now, Wanda. Stop wasting time.

[x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com]

All right, Miss Cranky Pants, though you just might want to send someone to get me. It's a, what, two hour drive from here to there without traffic?

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Wanda}
From: {Pietro}

That would mean someone else gets involved, which is contrary to the whole point. I'll wait.

[x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com]

Alright, I'm heading out now.

...try a hot shower. Yes, I know it might be a bit gross but what ELSE are you going to do for two hours? And it is in your bathroom.

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Wanda}
From: {Pietro}

I was going to do that anyway. Thorough personal hygiene and very strong, preferably just a touch acrid soap are your first line of defense against nosy ferals.