E-mail to Wanda
May. 3rd, 2007 03:59 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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To: {Wanda}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: In advance, shut up.
Wanda, I need two things from you immediately. Neither of them are at all negotiable, and the sooner you can get here the better.
The first--the most important--is your absolute promise, your unbreakable word of honor, on the love we share as twins and by Mother's memory, that you will never breathe a single word regarding what transpires today to any other living soul. I mean it, Wanda. Not your best friend, not your lover, not your co-workers, not the random person at the bar you think might get a kick out of the story, nobody. You take this to your grave. Promise me.
Secondly: I need to borrow . . . well, maybe not borrow, since I doubt you'll be wanting--never mind. I need hygiene products. Of a feminine nature. Immediately. I also need you to show me what to do with them, since the only thing I remember from commercials is that wings are somehow important.
And I clearly can't go to anyone here with this . . . problem. So when you're able to stop laughing long enough to pick yourself up off the floor, because I know that's what you're doing, get over here. I'll be in my bathroom. Use your key to get into the suite.
Not a word to anyone.
From: {Pietro}
Subject: In advance, shut up.
Wanda, I need two things from you immediately. Neither of them are at all negotiable, and the sooner you can get here the better.
The first--the most important--is your absolute promise, your unbreakable word of honor, on the love we share as twins and by Mother's memory, that you will never breathe a single word regarding what transpires today to any other living soul. I mean it, Wanda. Not your best friend, not your lover, not your co-workers, not the random person at the bar you think might get a kick out of the story, nobody. You take this to your grave. Promise me.
Secondly: I need to borrow . . . well, maybe not borrow, since I doubt you'll be wanting--never mind. I need hygiene products. Of a feminine nature. Immediately. I also need you to show me what to do with them, since the only thing I remember from commercials is that wings are somehow important.
And I clearly can't go to anyone here with this . . . problem. So when you're able to stop laughing long enough to pick yourself up off the floor, because I know that's what you're doing, get over here. I'll be in my bathroom. Use your key to get into the suite.
Not a word to anyone.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:16 pm (UTC)From: [Wanda]
Wait. You got turned into a girl and...oh my God.
....
.....
......
I...I don't use pads, I use tampons. And oh my God...*dies laughing*
W.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:19 pm (UTC)From: {Pietro}
Yes, yes, it's all very amusing. I don't care what you use, it's got to be better than this towel which I will now have to burn. Are you coming over here or not?
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:20 pm (UTC)From: [Wanda]
I am, I am! I just...need to find the ones that won't. Well. Let me just say this: there are different sizes.
Well, at least the next time someone says you're suffering from PMS you can agree with them.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:22 pm (UTC)From: {Pietro}
Well, there would almost have to be, wouldn't there? This couldn't just be easy, no. Because this is my life!
I think we have moved well beyond the P.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:29 pm (UTC)From: [Wanda]
There are several different kinds of pads as well but, yes, different sizes in tampons. How heavy is your period?
DMS, them. During.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:32 pm (UTC)From: {Pietro}
Wanda, I have no basis for comparison, and thankfully won't be stuck like this long enough to develop one. Just bring everything and sort it out when you get here.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:41 pm (UTC)From: [Wanda]
One of everything it is, then. ...want some chocolate? *grins*
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:43 pm (UTC)From: {Pietro}
I'm really not in the mood to eat right now, Wanda. Stop wasting time.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 09:59 pm (UTC)From: {Pietro}
That would mean someone else gets involved, which is contrary to the whole point. I'll wait.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 10:03 pm (UTC)...try a hot shower. Yes, I know it might be a bit gross but what ELSE are you going to do for two hours? And it is in your bathroom.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 10:06 pm (UTC)From: {Pietro}
I was going to do that anyway. Thorough personal hygiene and very strong, preferably just a touch acrid soap are your first line of defense against nosy ferals.