To: [Red-X mailing list], [List of Useless Freeloaders Faffing About the Mansion], [Smith, Tabitha]
From: [Kane, Garrison]
I'm back a day from Iran and already I have work to do. This, kids, is why you should never work for the government.
Speaking of, the Canadian government is hosting an international conference on disaster relief this week, and there's a series of panels on the last day involving mutants and mutant programs like Red-X and their place in the future. Minister MacDonald and the Red Cross have spoken about having members of Red-X attend the conference, as part of a knowledge sharing program with some other groups who do much the same thing. He also thinks it would be a good chance to have members of Xavier's meet some of the members of Canada's Beta Flight program.
For those of you unaware, in Canada, mutant testing and registration is mandatory; part of our great Communist universal health care thingy. So comrades, when you're tested positive as a mutant, there's an evaluation and training process, called Gamma Flight, to ensure that you don't accidently explode your date while making out because you can't control your powers. And yes, happened to me once, don't want to talk about it.
Anyhow, people of a certain power level or skill have the option of joining the Beta Flight program following their training. One of the major elements of Beta Flight is disaster relief in Canada. It's still quite new, but in short, there's a database of powers and locations across the country. So when a forest fire gets out of control in BC, they look for Beta Flight mutants in the area who have applicable powers to assist. They get paid a small monthly stipend, like being in the National Guard or something, and 99% of the time, just live normal lives. It would be a good thing to interact, both personally and professionally with other groups doing the same thing you are.
Those of you not in RedX who are getting this e-mail, it's because you turned out to be extremely useful in Afghanistan, and the Canadian government would like to show their appreciation, even if officially, you were never there and they told me specifically not to bring you. But hey, other than the automatic weapons fire, it all worked out. Or, if you hadn't gone to Afghanistan, it's because I see you wondering around the mansion with bugger all to do, and feel this is a worthy way to make yourselves useful for a few days.
Some of you might be reluctant, or wonder what's in it for you? As a motivation, I have hidden a small amount of narcotics, just enough to qualify for trafficking, in each of your rooms. You are free to decline going, but as an officer of the law, I will have to arrest you on drug charges.
So, any questions before I arrange the plane tickets?