[identity profile] x-cypher.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] xp_communication
To: Sinclair, Rahne; Colbert, Marie-Ange; Dane, Lorna; Drake, Robert; Pryde, Katherine; Madrox, Jamie; D'Ancato, Marie; Sefton, Amanda

From: [return address mangled]

I'm sorry.

I know those two words probably aren't nearly enough for the hell you all went through yesterday because of me. And I can't change it, I can't fix it. God, I wish I could. I won't blame you if none of you trust me ever again. _I_ don't trust myself, and it's probably going to be a while before I do.

As a note, my reply address is mangled so that replies will be bounced back to you. I'm not naive enough to think this will stop any of you from making your opinions of me known, just that...I don't know if I'm ready to deal with any of it yet. I don't expect any of you to forgive me. Hell, I don't know if I could handle it if any of you did. I don't _want_ any of you to forgive me...

Because I can't forgive myself. I don't say that to be melodramatic, just a statement of fact.

And I'll understand if any of you would rather never see me again. I can't really look in a mirror right now, so I guess I know the feeling.

Once again, I'm sorry. I know those words aren't nearly enough, but they're all I have.

-Douglas Aaron Ramsey
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