xp_communication | Mar. 5th, 2024

Mar. 5th, 2024

To: [Summers, Scott]
From: [Haller, David]
Subject: ( Leave of absence )

To: [Qadir, Sooraya]
From: [Haller, David]
Subject: ( Sorry )

To: [Centino, Arthur]
From: [Haller, David]
Subject: ( No subject )

xp_longshot

Text to Jean:
[1] How did it go yesterday? 😀
[2] I would like your take and not just David's, if you could please

Text to Hope:
[1] David just up and left yesterday
[2] He said you confirmed something for him. What happened?

xp_angel

(1) Hey babe, running late here. I should probably shower before we meet my parents. Otherwise my mom will say something about how my skin doesn't look fresh which is bullshit.

(2) I'm so fresh.

(3) Oh, and I banged a Guthrie earlier.

(4) Love youuuuuu xoxoxo

xp_angel

To: Favourite Minion
From: Bossman

Illyana, I've made it with a woman. Inform the men. And by men, I mean don't. And if you haven't seen Futurama yet, then please take the week off and catch up.

Send Melody Guthrie (I don't have her contact information so have fun with that... oh wait, no I have her number. Never mind. Here it is. xxx-xxxx) the sexual congress survey.

Also, book her a spa day at the Ritz-Carlton, go all out. I think they have those diamond masks treatments and the dermaflash. Never too young to reverse sun damage. And then a manicure and pedicure -- make sure it's extra. Like .... EXTRA. Like so extra, it makes you puke and wish you had another job.

And then book yourself a vacation somewhere. For fuck's sake woman, take a break!!!!!!!!!

And watch Futurama.

Affectionately yours,

WW3

xp_magik

To: [Guthrie, Melody]
From: [Rasputin, Illyana]
Bcc: [Guthrie, Jay]

Subject: Warren Survey & Spa Date

Dear Melody Guthrie,

This is an automated message sent to all persons confirmed to have done a sex with Warren Worthington III. In an effort to ensure Warren Worthington III is only providing the most exemplary experience in coitus-related activities, you are invited to fill out the questionnaire linked at the bottom of this email. Your responses will be anonymized before being shared with Mr. Worthington III.

As a thank you for providing a delightful experience for Warren Worthington III, you have been booked for a full spa treatment consisting of a body massage, face and scalp massage, and mani/pedi. You will get a separate email confirmation for this.

[Link to Questionnaire]

Again, thank you for your time, and your honesty on the questionnaire is greatly appreciated.

Have a lovely day,

♕Illyana Rasputin
Executive Assistant to Warren Worthington III
Worthington Industries
NYC, NY