Email to Paige

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

To: [Guthrie, Paige E.]
From: [Forge, JH]

Subject:

You know, you're probably going to tell me my comments and implications were out of line. Big deal. Laugh about it. You've got a sense of humor, I've seen it. It just seems to vanish into thin air any time someone points at you.

Look, it's no mystery: I think you're great. You're smart, you're funny, you're (usually) friendly - and with the probable exception of Amanda, everyone likes you. You've got family here, you've got friends here, and you've got not one but two boyfriends - and if that's a touchy subject, well, touch touch touch.

If you ask me, you seem to put too much emphasis on being perfect. In my moments of ego, I like to pretend that I am. In my moments of infatuation, I fool myself into thinking you are. But then I remember that I'm a genius, and I think rationally about it, and I remember that I'm flawed, and you're flawed, and that's okay.

So yeah, I was being sarcastic and passive-aggressive. My bad, didn't mean to ruin your 42-hour good mood. Still doesn't mean I was wrong.

JHF

Comments

Reply E-mail

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You know what would be awesome? Having a friend who noticed that I was not doing well, who regonised it, who even saw it as something he himself had gone though, (hell, is going through,) and didn't make it his job to make it worse.

P. Guthrie

Re: Reply E-mail

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

What, that you're having trouble coping with stuff? Waffling between overcheerful socialite and brooding hermit? Yeah - I know what that's like. And I have friends who smacked me upside the head (sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally) to snap me out of it. I can't exactly give you a cuff upside the head when you're being stupidly mopey. For starters, you're taller, you're stronger than me, and you've got two brothers who'd drop me from a large height if I tried it.

Paige, you've done wonders for getting me out of the funk I occasionally drop into and remember that I can't just hole up and depend solely on myself. Take a little bit of your own medicine, hey? If something's bugging you, I'm always available to listen. I may not always understand what you're going through, but that doesn't mean I'm going to think less of you for it.

Re: Reply E-mail

[x-foliate.livejournal.com]

Well, you've seen how well "smacking upside the head" worked on me. Do make a log; hopefully this is one mistake that won't be repeated.

Oh, great. Go sarcastic, passive-agressive Nazi on me and then ask me to confide in you. That's a great way to make me want to trust you. This isn't "just a funk", okay? It isn't just something that's "bugging" me. Why the hell can't I find my notes?

Nevermind. Thanks for the concern, even if you did manage to put it in the most irritating, hurtful way possible.

P

postscript: I meant that about the eggshells. They can hold a lot of weight, but you put pressure on just one point, or shake them, and everyth- whatthehellamItypingdelete...

Re: Reply E-mail

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

Look, okay - it doesn't have to be me. But talk to SOMEONE. Your family, your boyfriend(s), Dr. Samson, the Professor - just someone.

You know, you want to be pissed at me, fine. I accept that. But I think too much of you to sit back and watch you burn yourself out without saying something. If that's out of line, well then, I'm out of line.

I still don't know whatever magic words it is people say to make folks feel better, or trust them, or understand stuff. I'm not Manuel, I can't just *poof* make everything feel all better. So I do what I know how to do - poke at things until I figure them out. I'm just trying to figure out what's got you all angry at yourself the world here.

JHF