Subject: Re: Chattiness is infectious.

Date: 2004-03-15 05:23 pm (UTC)
xp_daytripper: (Amanda)
No cold water today. Just books. Lots and lots and lots of books. Least they're in the languages I can actually read okay in - you might have noticed I have trouble with me spelling and stuff (thank Christ for spellcheck!). But me head still feels like its gunna explode and all the words'll come spilling out.

Apparently there are rules too magic, beyond the usual big spells will hurt like hell one I already knew. And a whole bunch of things to think about, before you even start thinking about casting. Like, what consequences will there be? You have to make sure you ain't going to fuck someone up by casting the spell, even by accident.

Wish I'd known about some of this stuff sooner. Like around the time I made that love potion.

There's something about the school that makes you do things you wouldn't normally. Like tell people stuff you don't even think about that much. I noticed it too - its a bit scary, ain't it? And the way they hand out trust like its sweets... it makes me wonder why they ain't broken in a million bits by now, with people taking advantage. Moira and me talked about it, and how once you break someone's trust it takes a lot of work to get back. Never thought I'd care about that, but I do, a lot. I hope I can make things better with certain people. And I hope that I don't fuck things up with the people who still are trusting me. Its hard, having that kind of responsibility; never did for so long, and now I got people who care and get hurt by what I do. Sometimes I get so scared I want to run for the hills and not come back.

But then Pete would hunt me down and give me a talking to. *grins* Which is a good thing. I ain't been able to tell him, but I'm really glad he's around, even if he's scary when he's pissed off at me.

I dunno, 'bout you being a bad example. Seems to me that anyone who got through you did, and still be able to care 'bout other people can't be that bad. *wry grin* One day we'll have too sit down and compare fucked-up 'families'. Sometimes I think they're more damaging than not, but then I come somewhere like here and its like a big family, with people looking out for each other. And Shinobi calls me his little sister and it makes me happy for some silly reason.

Gah. I've gotten soft as bloody putty, me.

You and Moira will sort stuff out. She's got it bad for you, any one can see it. But no cooing from me - I ain't that soft yet. *grins* I'll be cheering you two on from the sidelines, tho'. It's good too see the old folks having a spot of fun.

I know it's pretty quiet over there, but keep up the news? Its good to know what's going on.

A.

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