xp_communication | Email to Terry

x-cassidy.livejournal.com posting in

Subject: Just in case you were wondering...

I'm no happier than you are about Mr Forge's revalations, but I'm a teacher here, and I can't just go flying off the handle at a student. This is Charles' school, and he decides who he'll take in and who he won't, and for as long as I'm working here, I have to keep my opinions on the people he takes in, staff and student alike, to myself.

And I spent too many years punishing myself for not being there for you and your mother to be willing to do that again. I'm sorry you feel that way, I truly am, but I did not plant that bomb that killed your mother, and I won't go at myself with might've beens any more.

Sean.

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From:

x-siryn.livejournal.com

Subject: No, I wasn't wondering.

I stopped wondering about you a long time ago.

I don't care. You weren't there. And the only person who was doesn't get a second chance because he's got friends or family enough to care for him. He's got to rot in gaol for the rest of his life as there's no one who gives a damn about giving him a second chance.

Forge did what he did and he was wrong. He lost half his body for it. Fine. That's paid then. What did I do to deserve having my life destroyed?

Don't answer that.

Terry.

From:

x-cassidy.livejournal.com

Tom got second, third, forth and fifth chances, and spurned everyone who ever did try to help him. And when he gets out, I'll try and help him again, for all the good it'll do.

As for you, you did nothing, and it's one of the reasons I'll never forgive him, just like you'll never forgive me.

Sean.

From:

x-siryn.livejournal.com

Sure you say you'll help him now. Only seven years too late.

You won't forgive him because he was there for me when you weren't.

Terry

From:

x-cassidy.livejournal.com

I've helped him time and time again in the past, though you'd never know it for all the thanks I've had, but I will not bend or break the law for him, and he's *always* known that.

And you know fine well that the only reason he was there for you and I wasn't is that he made sure that that was the way of it. I won't forgive him for for depriving the pair of us of that chance. I'm glad someone was there for you, but I can't forgive the fact that the only reason it wasn't me was because he made sure of it.

Sean

From:

x-siryn.livejournal.com

You made sure of it by being more devoted to your damned job than my mother.

I don't want to talk about this anymore. I've had a bad enough week without adding a fight with you.

Terry

From:

x-cassidy.livejournal.com

Tell you what: you ask Charles what I was like before you were born. See what he tells you about where my priorities were. I went away with your mother's blessing, and against my own wishes, and I was back in time for when we thought you were due.

I made the biggest mistake of my life when I could not balance the job and you, seven years ago, but I swear to you, it wasn't a repeat of mistakes I'd already made with your mother. It is no excuse for failing you, but I'll not have anyone but me claiming I failed your mother, because it took me too long to realise that I only did that seven years ago.

Sean.

From:

x-siryn.livejournal.com

I don't care. How many times do I have to tell you that? I'm not going to put the time or the effort into caring about you. I'm tired of being shoved away and put aside and I won't be giving you the chance to do it again. I'll stick to people who I know won't abandon me or make me someone else's problem.

I told you I didn't want to talk about it and I don't. But I'll say this. Time was when I wanted a father. I thought it was just a matter of time and I was right. Lucky me. I should have been more specific.

Terry.