Email to Sofia

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

After a careful amount of recovery time from a slightly uneven discussion.


To: [Mantega-Barret, Sofia]
From: [Haller, David]
Subject:


I don't know if you're actually someone who can help with this, but I've got a friend who needs help finding someone. But it's personal and she doesn't want to involve the school or any of the obvious people in Snow Valley, so this is getting weirdly complicated.

I know not everyone at your office has some sort of intelligence connection, but I figured it was worth asking if you happened to have some contacts you could exploit here. If this is beyond your area or you don't have time, or, um, just don't want to, don't worry about it. This is pretty far below life and death.

Comments

Reply email

[x-viento.livejournal.com]

I technically do not have the time, but I could use something beyond "mutants that explode" for my breaks. Or for when I tell Pete to go fuck himself and do it himself.

I may also need some sleep.

SMB

Re: Reply email

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

Um, yeah, you sound it. And yeah, we're having similar issues over here.

Well, okay. That's not true. I don't think we have anyone over here who can create issues like Pete can. But we did have a couple staff hit from it, so I've got an idea of the stress.

I'm going to take that as tacit agreement that you probably know people who know people, so thank you. Even if it was partially out of spite, but I'm going to err on the side of the illusion just maybe it's because you have mercy. You're just trying to bury it deep under piles of bitterness.


Is it okay if I ask ask you one more favor and that you don't talk about my identity issues in journals that could be seen by the students? After that incident that never happened I was leaking pretty severely and the staff all know, but I've managed to keep the kids mostly clear of it so far. And sort of need to, since there's some prejudice against taking advice from a counselor who's, um . . . nuts.

Reply email

[x-viento.livejournal.com]

Oh, you caught me. I'm secretly a fluffy, cuddly animal of some kind. You could make slippers out of me. Or I'd crush your scrotum, whatever came first.

Alright. I apologize. I suppose I have merely seen you at your most dissociative and assumed that was how you were at all times, which most definitely could not been hidden from your students.

Of course, now I've seen you at your "craziest" and with bedhead. It's an interesting balance.

SMB

Re: Reply email

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

I know you couldn't tell, but I'm fairly functional. Mostly. High compartmentalization and everything being a fortunate compliment to the disorder. It's pretty controlled during my dayjob, but the outside activities shift things around sometimes. It helps that I'm not asked to do anything that'll hit triggers, but given the deeply weird circumstances I seem to keep putting myself in sometimes it's unavoidable. But that's sort of the nature of working for the type of people we do. I mean, if all anyone ever did was remove themselves from any position that could ever unsettle them . . . how would the things that needed to be done get done?

And if I completely crack I'll just take time off for a "mental health break." Permanent if necessary, since, you know. Handling impressionable young minds. And sometimes things that explode.

Also people.


Also, while I'm getting your metaphor, if that's where you think slippers go I'm kind of getting how you can exist in a workplace alongside Betsy and Wanda.

Reply email

[x-viento.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I've only dealt with one other person with DID and it did not end exceedingly well. However, so far, you've not tried to kill me, so, plus one to you.

The more time I spend with you, the more I am coming to the conclusion that you do function quite well. I'm impressed. And I thought I sensed boxes, that one time the group was... making one brain. I'm not sure what all the terms are.

My existence is only made possible by many, many, many full glass bottles. That I empty.

Re: Reply email

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

I think we're okay, since none of me has ever tried to kill. I admit that in extremes one of me will sometimes try to injure. But that's just an extension of inward-turned rage -- it's just that unfortunately sometimes I'll take me out on others. Times like that would be when I find it necessary to remove myself from every aspect of my job until I can get my head together and be less of a potential risk.

I know. For a counselor I have awesome people skills.

I can take a compliment, though. My sense of self-worth's not quite that low.


As for the boxes: from past experience with the professor my mind is generally organized more like a cityscape: there are clearly delineated sectors changing in style and atmosphere. In the terminology of my disorder these are sometimes called "zones" even though a lot of baseline normal people have similar equivalents. Compartmentalized aspects of self and everything that we need to function in everyday life.

I wasn't actually able to comprehend any of the thoughts and memories at the time because there was that huge aggregate consciousness in the way, so don't worry about that. But knowing what I do about the nature of my own native astral environment, I'm going to guess the boxes you sensed were actually a projection of your own mind's structure, trying to make mine comprehensible.

Yeah. Psychic perception can be funky sometimes.