(no subject)

[x-rahne.livejournal.com]

To: [Jennifer Stavros]
From: [Rahne Sinclair]
Re: Apology

I suppose what I ought to do is just accept this and let it lie. I know better than to hold grudges, and I know better than to think you were really malicious, whatever you meant.

But the believing you part is... Actually, making sense of the whole thing is giving me trouble. What you're apologizing for seems not to be what I saw you do. You said more than once to me that you were, in fact, speaking to and about those of us at Elpis. Now you're saying you were not. Although even if you were addressing your classmates, I'm not seeing much reason they should have to shut up about the news, a day after a fairly striking update, for your convenience. I get tired of hearing about things I've no way to fix too, though in my case that's part of the job, but that's no call to tell them to be quiet about it.

Also, the "pitchfork-wielding mob" comment in your Oscars post makes it sound like you feel unjustly persecuted, when as far as I can tell nearly everyone who commented had jumped in on your behalf anyway.

Rahne

Comments

[x-roulette.livejournal.com]

to: [Rahne Sinclair]
from: [Jennifer Stavros]

Rahne -

I deserve this. Really, I do.

I know you've been told this, because I've had it beaten into my head several times in the last few days, people cope in different ways. Mine is to become even more shallow. It's a, what the hell did Samson call it? A coping mechanism? Unfortunately, you caught me before I was forcibly dragged away from the keyboard. I was pissed off, I was angry, and I was taking it out on you. And I had no right to do that.

And it wasn't so much a shut up about the news that was directed at my peers, but to quit being so damn fatalistic. There was much of the arm-flailing. I'm not sure if you can quite get where we're coming from, because you can and are helping. We just get to sit and watch and do what others tell us to do. After a week's worth of being able to do nothing but watch, I snapped. And I regret it terribly, but at the same time, I still stand by my point. We're hurt, yes, but if we let them break us then they win. So we don't let them break us.

As to the pitchfork-wielding mob, did you see how many times I got told to shut the fuck up on that thread alone? That's not counting what happened in the hallways the next day. I'm a wee afraid to make any comment now that isn't serious and heavy, lest I get told to shut up again.

I get where they were coming from and I don't blame them, but it makes a girl paranoid.

-Jennie