E-mail

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

To: [Red-X mailing list], [List of Useless Freeloaders Faffing About the Mansion], [Smith, Tabitha]
From: [Kane, Garrison]

I'm back a day from Iran and already I have work to do. This, kids, is why you should never work for the government.

Speaking of, the Canadian government is hosting an international conference on disaster relief this week, and there's a series of panels on the last day involving mutants and mutant programs like Red-X and their place in the future. Minister MacDonald and the Red Cross have spoken about having members of Red-X attend the conference, as part of a knowledge sharing program with some other groups who do much the same thing. He also thinks it would be a good chance to have members of Xavier's meet some of the members of Canada's Beta Flight program.

For those of you unaware, in Canada, mutant testing and registration is mandatory; part of our great Communist universal health care thingy. So comrades, when you're tested positive as a mutant, there's an evaluation and training process, called Gamma Flight, to ensure that you don't accidently explode your date while making out because you can't control your powers. And yes, happened to me once, don't want to talk about it.

Anyhow, people of a certain power level or skill have the option of joining the Beta Flight program following their training. One of the major elements of Beta Flight is disaster relief in Canada. It's still quite new, but in short, there's a database of powers and locations across the country. So when a forest fire gets out of control in BC, they look for Beta Flight mutants in the area who have applicable powers to assist. They get paid a small monthly stipend, like being in the National Guard or something, and 99% of the time, just live normal lives. It would be a good thing to interact, both personally and professionally with other groups doing the same thing you are.

Those of you not in RedX who are getting this e-mail, it's because you turned out to be extremely useful in Afghanistan, and the Canadian government would like to show their appreciation, even if officially, you were never there and they told me specifically not to bring you. But hey, other than the automatic weapons fire, it all worked out. Or, if you hadn't gone to Afghanistan, it's because I see you wondering around the mansion with bugger all to do, and feel this is a worthy way to make yourselves useful for a few days.

Some of you might be reluctant, or wonder what's in it for you? As a motivation, I have hidden a small amount of narcotics, just enough to qualify for trafficking, in each of your rooms. You are free to decline going, but as an officer of the law, I will have to arrest you on drug charges.

So, any questions before I arrange the plane tickets?

--Garrison

Comments

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

What! I can't believe this. Black mail.

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

I prefer to think of it as extortion. The X makes it sound cooler.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

To: (Reply All)
From: (Dude, wait, what?)
Subject: Uh.

Dude, one crazy government agency already tried to recruit me. Are you recruiting or are you like, trying to get our people to meet your people?

Reply all

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

I have hidden a small amount of narcotics, just enough to qualify for trafficking, in each of your rooms.

That's entrapment.

-死郎

Reply to Garrison

[x-penance.livejournal.com]

Dear Mr. Kane,

Thank you very much for the inviting. I would very much like to come.

From,

Yvette.

Re: Reply all

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

Wait, you're not on my e-mail distribution list? OMG, we've been hacked! Like 'Hackers'! Or 'Swordfish'!

HACKED!!!

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

To: [urusai ojii]
From: [Kikuchi Noriko]
Subject: ~translated message from Kane, Garrison~

~Translated from Japanese~

What the hell is Red-X? Also, you do know the drug threat only works if there's any chance the drugs will still be here when you try to arrest me, right? Or if I am adverse to being deported.

Willing to go to Canada anyways, particularly since you apparently gave me drugs.

-Nori

~Translated from Japanese~

Reply All

[x-traitor.livejournal.com]

If you find the narcotics and don't wanna go, bring it to me and I'll change it into something useful.

Re: Reply All

[x-cloudy.livejournal.com]

I want to go, but if I find the narcotics, can I bring them to you anyway? That way I get a trip AND something useful! :)

Re: Reply all

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

Either that or Red-X hasn't updated their membership directory since I finished high school.

[x-m.livejournal.com]

You utter prick. You know, there are words for people like you.

Also, had you ever considered just asking politely, rather than playing with the blackmail fairy? But, hey, it looks like I'm going to Canada. Tell me it won't be all wilderness and mooses and ...hey, if there are mounties, can I keep one as my own personal sex toy?

Email: Kane, Garrison

[x-pyromania.livejournal.com]

You better be telling the truth about that hidden stash of narcotics. I'm not tearing up my room for no good reason.

And since you were at receiving end of my complaints on the way to and from Afghanistan? I hope you remember that I don't fly coach.

Re: Reply All

[x-traitor.livejournal.com]

Sure, don't see why not. What do you have in mind so I can make sure I know it?

Re: Reply All

[x-cloudy.livejournal.com]

Cinnamon would be nice. :) Or glitter. :)

Re: Reply All

[x-traitor.livejournal.com]

Cinnamon is natural so I can't do that but glitter is a yes.

Re: Reply All

[x-cloudy.livejournal.com]

Yay! :)

Now I just have to find the stuff, although I've been looking and am now starting to wonder if it was ever really there to begin with. :)

Re: Email: Kane, Garrison

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

And I hope you remember the fact that I don't really care that much. But, you know, optimism is always fun.

[x-dominion.livejournal.com]

I had considered, but I figured blackmail would be a lot faster.

[x-m.livejournal.com]

You didn't think it would be kind of counter productive, considering that Nori's a junkie? She's probably found whatever it was you left in her room by now and is looking for a way to search everyone else's rooms.

That is, if you're more than just talk. I mean, really, who announces that they're blackmailing people in a semi-public email?

Can't

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

While I'd love to go to Canada - I currently can't. Have fun without me. :)

Re: Can't

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Wait, wait, why the heck can't you go to Canada? *I* could go to Canada if I wanted to and I'm the only one of us who the law says "TRAVEL? NO U."

Re: Can't

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

Because I've got a possible job interview at the local florist?