Email to Kyle

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

To: [The fox]
From: [Happily not a hound]
Subject: Well well

Jen appears to have gotten over her case of involuntary Canine, so I assume the same already applies to yourself, or shall shortly. So, whilst not to obviate the invaluable lesson we have all surely learned about the Importance of Avoiding Certain Comments, but as your mate I am compelled to ask: a fox? Truly?

Comments

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

To: [m]
From: [k]
Subject: typijng is hatrd.\

dunno yet. waitimngm for clotjhews swo i domt get hu,am and mnaked loke jemmie.

i domnt get tjhe fox tjomgt eitjher. tail is flufy and warm floor is verty cold

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

To: (Gnawee)
From: (Gnawer)
Subject: THUMBS! AND PANTS!

Okay, now that I've got thumbs and pants and am not typing with my entire hand at once..

Dude, I got nothing. I mean we always kinda knew I wasn't like, actually a dog boy, all stupid annoying crap aside, and I'm sure as crap not feline.

But I am totally not dressing up as like, Disney's Robin Hood, um, EVER. This better not get out or you're in for another laking after I get you for the foot-lifting. You DESERVED to be gnawed on.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

To: [I have known that pain]
From: [Many fond memories of unsuitable digits]
Subject: Glad to see you're back

Would I tell tales? Well . . . perhaps. Though if so requested I believe I have it in myself to honour your wishes. At least until a more lucrative opportunity for exploitation arises.

I must give you credit for being original; whilst the three other victims were dogs, you daringly opted for the road less travelled. However inconvenient the vulpine tract may be, at least you are spared the indignity of fluffiness. My heart bleeds for that poor girl who found herself to be a pomeranian, although if my memory of Jen's many rants on the subject is accurate it was a bit of karmic payback.

As for the why of the sudden foxness, well. The last time I saw anything of the sort Mariah has, it was that bloke from the Conservatory. You know, the one making dinosaurs. It might be Mariah's power relates to playing silly buggers with others' evolutionary ladder. Should this be the case, I believe we now know what your equivalent biological influence may be.

Bit of a pity she went for you rather than myself, considering "largely immune to external attempts at physical change" is something of a speciality. Ah well, c'est la vie.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

To: [The last time I had no thumbs it sucked a lot more]
From: [NO fond memories]
Subject: not as glad as I am.

I'd just not like to have to explain -again- why it's a thing. I mean, Laurie already doesn't get why it bugs me.

Road with warmer fluffier butt. And I have no sympathy for either of those two. They were the yappiest yappy dogs ever AND didn't get that I did not want to farking snuggle. Seriously, if they're like that as people, it's a big giant DO NOT WANT. Also most chicks like that are too skinny. I'd be afraid of breaking them.

So, what like where Catseye was a cat and Logan's like, a badger-wolf-thing, I'm a fox? Wow there's a WORLD of bad pickup lines there.

[x-emplate.livejournal.com]

Ah, Laurie can, perhaps, be forgiven. She's not yet been through the equivalent wringer of Odd. Considering the number of times we've all found ourselves in various other shapes, she's quite a ways to catch up. No doubt she'll understand once she is herself on the wrong end of an encounter with a mutant whose talent is to transform bystanders into asparagus, or something similarly ridiculous.

They were a bit . . . yes. Forward. Whilst I pride myself on my lack of prejudice, I cannot un-hear the constant yipping of the return trip. Besides, I believe Whitney fancied you.

As far as genetic antecendants goes, take heart. Though bad jokes may ensue, at least you are not lavendar.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Maybe I can bribe whatsherface the dog whisperer to turn Laurie into a poodle for a couple days.

Whitney can bite me. I have a girlfriend and she's not, you know, DUMB. Seriously, dude, they made dumb dogs.

I'll stick with tan, thanks. Hey, did you pick up my uniform pants? Because I can't find them.