E-Mail to Laura

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Babysitting

Because he's injured and medicated to a really scary degree because of his metabolism so I don't wanna leave him alone in case something happens. Because I'm worried. And he's my...boyfriend seems like the wrong word but it's the only one I've got.

He's only asleep because he's medicated.

Comments

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

My shoulder.

I fell and I think I broke it again. Or maybe not, can't really tell?

Eh...I see? I guess I should have seen that coming, but I didn't want to get into making assumptions that might be completely wrong. But I see why you are worried about him; if I had a boyfriend I would act just the same way and not knowing what can happen with his mutation...he's better with you watching.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

You fell and broke it again? How'd you do that?

I think he might heal faster than normal folks because he has this really high metabolism going on but I'm not sure. When he's off pain killers I'm not sure he would have liked getting into a very confused discussion on the journals. That's why I took the laptop away.

I think he'll be fine, though.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

Okay, I think I was overreacting, but it hurt a lot.

Well, from what I have been told, medication really don't have much of an effect on me, my body getting rid of it right away or something. I guess there is no thing as a standard case with us. Well, maybe that's for the best then.

I hope he'll be fine.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

You mean my e-mail made you fall over and hit your shoulder? I'm sorry. I didn't see that one coming.

They can't really give me topical anything unless it's like eye medication because I just decay it off. Awesome, huh? Dr McCoy gave me some stuff that doesn't totally decay off me but it just sorta gets gross once most of it does. I'm not telling him I'm not using that stuff.

I hope everyone's fine. I also hope I stop getting injured when I go out of the country with ELPIS.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

I guess my sense of balance is greatly overestimated.

Huh, then I hope you really aren't needing any of that ever, and I mean it. While I can't take anything unless it's on amounts enough to kill anyone of an overdose, and keep it like that for whatever it takes to make effect, I always have good health. Yep, that's a super power for you.

...What happened to you? It's as if everyone that has anything to do with this place is bound to get hurt.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

You should work on estimating yourself lower.

I don't think I really need it now anyway. I'm usually not Injured Guy because I am not Save The World Guy, you know? Why do you get all the cool super powers?

This time? I was electrocuted. Last time I was knocked out cold. I think I liked that one better.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

What? No! My balance is awesome. You just caught me off guard.

Don't feel bad; Save The World Guy usually gets killed or it's an old fart in the sequel. And because I'm awesome, and Pop's girl, although I think he doesn't have super health.

I don't have a last time to compare, so getting my bones crushed by a Darkforce blast -that's how Hank called it- is pretty much the worst that has happened to me.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

Your balance couldn't handle a boyfriend = Balance Sucks.

Save The World Guy is more noble than me. Or maybe just more stupid. Super health, is that an official term?

Crushing always sounds worse than breaking. Break a bone and you just snap it but when you crush it there's a shattered, splintered, maybe ground to dust kinda thing that I'd guess hurts a lot more. You win, your injury sucks way more than mine. Well, my injury isn't really bad just sorta...uncomfortable.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

I was handling him just fine! We were having good fun, medicated times.

That Guy is just a product of some cheap movie producer. I mean, Save The World Guy is Hot as Hell, and sometimes even a secret spy, but he's not real. And I would be saying a lie if I tell you that's any official term. I have it written somewhere over here....Enhanced Immunologic System. Not that awesome, if you ask me.

It hurt a lot. It also made me very mad, which in turn made it hurt more. Hmmm, vicious circle. Didn't end well for the guy that did it.

Uncomfortable can be very...uncomfortable.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

I didn't mean him himself. I meant the revelation or whatever.

Super Health sounds better than EIS does and no one is going to remember the long version unless they're a doctor anyway. Or Laurie. Laurie would remember it.

How did being mad make your shoulder hurt more? Is Super Health emotive so when you get mad your health gets mad back at you and punishes you for it?

Yeah, that's pretty much what uncomfortable does.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

I don't revelations too often. Tripping might ensue.

Yes, a doctor. Laurie looks a lot like a doctor. Pheromone girl right? She seems nice enough though, for a maybe-looks-like-doctor.

Well, when you are hurt, you are careful about your wounds, right? When I get really hurt, I get really pissed for being hurt, and I stop caring about being hurt, which in return hurts me more, makes me madder, and it goes on and on my friends! It's part of being a feral, or so Pops says.

Nothing like a bit of tautology to get things clearer right?

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

I'll try to keep my revelations to a minimum. I'm boring, it won't be hard.

She's a pre-med student with aspirations of doctorhood. She speaks Medical pretty well, I think.

Maybe you just need anger management classes or something You know, meditate, zen out, contain the rage so you don't just injure your injury worse.

I don't think it counts as tautology if you use the same word to explain itself.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

I wanted to say you made me trip with that revelation, but I'll pass.

Is there a Medical-English dictionary? Sometimes I think Dr.McCoy is trying to confuse me on purpose.

What? Nah. It only kicks when I'm hurt. Survival instincts? And it's just what I am, I guess. Runs in the family. Healing really fast also runs in the family, so there is nothing to worry about.

Then it's a redundancy. There, you killed the fun.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

Maybe that's part of his strategy. If you confuse the patient they are distracted from what you're actually doing.

At least you'll heal fast when you make it worse.

It's my secondary mutation, fun killing.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

If you can't convince them, confuse them! Makes sense in its own twisted way.

It's a good back-up plan, I would say.

And you are so powerful it even works on the Internet. Dude, you are dangerous.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

I'm like a super nova of mutants here, killing fun everywhere I go! My laugh, it is an evil laugh.

Mwahahaha!

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

Such a humble approach! I guess with great power comes great bragging~

...Now I want to hear that laugh.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

Only official minions of the Empire and victims of the Tyranny witness the laugh.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

Huh, if that's the case I'll pass, as I have no current desire of being a minion, leave alone a victim.

...You could record it and send it me anyway~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

And undermine my reputation? No dice, girlie.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting


Do minions at least have benefits? Fancy costumes? Dental care? Vacations?

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

Minionhood requires costumes to be painted on with liquid latex. A cape is available for those who are modestly inclined. Personal grooming standards are outlined in the handbook. Minionhood will be stripped from anyone not complying with regulations set forth in the handbook.

We also offer a life full of travel, exotic locations and minions of your own to do your bidding as you climb the minion ranks! Minions reaching level of Sergeant or higher receive a comprehensive benefits package which is LGBT-friendly.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

...You have this all very well planned, I must admit.

But, latex and me have a bad, bad history. I think I'll pass, but I'm always up for Evil Conseling if you run out of ideas.

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

That's a shame. You could've been a real asset to the Empire. I'll keep in mind your counseling services in case I need them.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin]
From: [Laura]
Subject: Babysitting

I rock the latex, believe it ♥

I'm a message away!

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Laura]
From: [Kevin]
Subject: Re: Babysitting

I believe it. I had the plans for your costume all drafting up. Very tasteful. No cape.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Kevin, Supreme Latex Suit Overlord]
From: [Not A Minion, yet interested]
Subject: Babysitting

You are the artist here man, show me some ideas and you might get a deal~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

To: [Future Minion]
From: [Fun Killing Tyrant]
Subject: I was thinking something like this...



Because I need my minions to be intimidating or no one will take me seriously.

[x-twenty-three.livejournal.com]

To: [Deceivingly Kinky]
From: [Latex Enthusiast]
Subject: And this is starting to sound like a cheap R-Rated flick.

Visual impact is in high demand nowadays. And I wonder, what does the Big Boss wears? He should be the living emblem of his organization, after all.