xp_communication | Email to Amanda

To: [trouble]
From: [humpty-dumpty]
Subject: tonight

I won't come knocking on your door unless you want me to, but I'm here if you need me. Well, actually I'm stripping the wallpaper I ruined off the walls in Moira's living room, but hey, if you want to come up and be destructive, I'm game for that, too.

Discretion and... tact get hard sometimes, with a link. I'm not making excuses for him (we all know I really don't like him enough to do that), just offering an explanation.

Nate

ps: On the other hand, if you want me to do something appalling and pseudo-paternal...

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From:

xp_daytripper

You know, just readin the nickname you used was enough to make me feel a bit better. Along with having some very strange mental pictures.

I know he didn't mean it, and that he thought he was sticking up for me at the time. I also know it had to come out sooner or later. I just wish it had been my choice, y'know? The only thing about the scars I could control, and that's been taken away from me. And the ironic thing is I've been starting to think it wasn't so bad - Dom and I talked a bit about it, and that helped a lot. We had a bit of show and tell. *grins at the expression on your face*

He feels terrible about it, worse than I do. I can tell even from my hidey hole in the library.

Nothing to be done about it now, either - what's said said, and all the hiding in the world won't change it. But I'm not ready to have anyone looking at me just yet - I don't want anyone's pity. I'll be all right, just ain't fit for company; remember what you said about crying and my complexion?

Destruction later. There's always time for destruction. And I have me job tomorrow, it'll be good to get away from here.

A.

PS: You already did the paternal thing. Appalling... tempting, but it's all right. I can punish him quite well meself. *eg*

From:

x-cable.livejournal.com

The nickname, I mean. Although now I have the damned nursery rhyme stuck in my head. Serves me right.

Intentions will count for a lot, once all's said and done. He quite obviously recognizes that he went several miles past the line, which means that this can be worked through, once you're ready to do that. The only thing I'd suggest is that when you do, you tell him exactly what you told me here. Make sure he fully understands (on an intellectual level, not just an emotional level; I think that's where Manuel gets into most of his trouble) why what he did had these consequences.

And I so did not need the image of you and Dom playing 'show and tell'. *shudders*

Make sure you get what Moira left for you outside your door? She's fretting about you. And make sure you try and get some sleep - if you've got to be up early tomorrow for your new job you won't want to be too bleary-eyed.

Nate

ps: That's my girl.

From:

xp_daytripper

With that nursery rhyme stuck now. Think I might be coming out sooner rather than later, if only so I can get some decent music to drown it out. ;)

*nods* I will tell him just that. It was just such a shock, and now the shock's wearing off, I'm still angry and hurt that he'd be so careless with something that was important to me, but I'm a little bit relieved too, that it's out there. At least the reactions I've gotten so far haven't been so bad. That's not to say I'll be wearing a halter top any time soon, but at least I know (most) people won't think I'm a freak. It's the pity that's the worst, tho'. I hate people looking at me like I'm some kind of charity case.

It don't let him off the hook by any means, that's for sure. But I'm getting some perspective now.

*grins* Doesn't take a telepath to know exactly how you'd react to that image. And that was just in the change room. I'm not even going to start on the hotel room... Ooh look, Nate's brain go boom.

I went up and got Moira's package after she emailed me. Tea and biscuits are being made use of as we speak. And no, Dad, I'll make sure I sleep. The sofa down here is quite comfy...

A.

PS: Ta, old man.