The X-Project

To: [Angie]
From: [Doug]
Subject: leaving

You're not doing anything wrong. I feel like _I_ am.

God, I so wanted to call after you and beg you not to go. Because this is exactly what I was afraid of. But I didn't want to make you even more frustrated or angry by being even more needy and desperate. :-( And I don't know what to do right now.

All I want to do is wallow, and cry myself to sleep. And I know that that's the complete wrong answer. But it's so hard to fight. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to fix this.

-Doug

From:

To: (Doug Ramsey)
From: (Marie-Ange)
Subject: So we're back to not using email nicknames?

If you had said anything, and stood up for yourself, I would have stayed.

Which is exactly the problem. You never push back, you never defend yourself.

The minute something goes wrong, you assume it is your fault and you do not stop to try to defend your position! How can you get anywhere if you keep falling back and not making any ground?

From:

To: [Angie]
From: [Doug]
Subject: I used 'Angie', I just didn't think 'mon coeur' was necessarily appropriate in the situation

I thought you would think I was being needy and desperate.

Okay, this is me standing up for myself. I don't know how to fix this on my own. I need help figuring this out. Please help? At least I figured out that wallowing and crying myself to sleep wasn't the right thing to do. I just don't know what to do next. I don't think I can do this by myself.

-Doug

From:

To: (Doug)
From: (Angie)
Subject: Why? Have you stopped?

You think too much. Stop thinking, start acting. Start asking for what Doug Ramsey wants instead of what he thinks other people might want.

I will give you a hint.

What do you want?

From:

To: [High Priestess]
From: [Knight of Cups]
Subject: Stopped what? Loving you? Hardly.

What do I want?

I want to not sleep alone tonight.

From:

To: (Knight of Cups)
From: (High Priestess)
Subject: Good. I had worried a little.

Anything else, or just that?

From:

To: [mon coeur]
From: [votre chevalier]
Subject: You shouldn't.

To see you in that bathrobe tomorrow morning?

From:

To: (Knight of Cups)
From: (High Priestess)
Subject: Oh?

I imagine that could be arranged. I would not want to scar Miles or Artie's innocent young minds with the grey silk tanktop pajamas after all.

From:

To: (Junior Devil Woman in Training)
From: (Your willing test subject)
Subject: Now that is just dirty pool. Not that I'm complaining.

Okay, I'll revise. Gray silk tanktop pajamas tonight, bathrobe tomorrow.

And gr. I had actually forgotten about Miles and Artie, because I'm pretty sure I could have kicked Jamie out in the interest of me asserting myself and fixing things. And the sunroom is right out for that sort of thing. Hm. As I recall, there are a few unused parlors and whatnot that certain people use as hidey-holes...this bears thinking on.

From:

To: (I should have never taken that picture)
From: (High Priestess)
Subject: Me? Fight dirty? Never.

See, it is not -that- difficult to ask for things, espically when you know I do not mind.

I would kick out my roommates, but somehow, I do not think Monet or Rahne would be all that willing.

Though, Rahne has been sleeping outside, and with Monet, you never know.

From:

To: (Person with two very distracting pictures)
From: (I only have one...)
Subject: This is my disbelieving face.

Well, knowing that you don't mind does make it just a bit easier, truth be told.

I can't quite picture Miss Perfect leaving her bed and giving up beauty sleep so us peons can have an illicit rendezvous. Am debating swallowing my embarassment and asking Jamie for advice on someplace to have some alone time.

From:

To: (Obviously, you are not trying hard enough)
From: (Girl with the camera)
Subject: Is it now?

Part of me thinks Monet would agree, just because she thinks people should have illicit rendezvous more often. Another part thinks she would laugh.

A third scary part thinks she would just say "Why do you need me to leave?"

Alone time might be nice.

From:

To: (Not trying hard enough to distract you?)
From: (Two can play at this game...)
Subject: Yes, it is.

I think she'd more likely go with option two or three. Assuming that you could get her to wake up, that is.

Alone time would be very nice. We just need to figure out how to get into one of those empty rooms. Jamie has an advantage in that his girlfriend can walk through walls and stuff. Gr.

From:

To: (Where did you -get- that picture?)
From: (I know for sure I did not bring my camera to the dance final!)
Subject: I think it is your "Evil genius" face.

I think maybe I do not want to find out, because option three frightens me.

I do not suppose you can pick locks?

From:

To: (I have my sources)
From: (I know you didn't...)
Subject: Is it? I can never tell the difference...

Yes. Option three frightens me too.

No. Mr. Wisdom taught me how to hotwire a car, but that's not the same set of skills. Hm. There's got to be a way we can...heyyyyyyyyy...it occurs to me that I have a girlfriend who can manifest images. All we have to do is find one that doesn't require a key on the inside, and you can slide an image under the door and cause it to rear up and unlock the door from the inside.

Okay. Come over. Bring pajamas, bathrobe, pillow, and something to unlock Door Number Three.

*grin* That assertive enough for you?

From:

To: (Sources named Alison Blaire?)
From: (I pale in comparison to the Devil Woman)
Subject: Both are cute. I am not complaining.

..

on the way.

From:

To: {Angie}
From: {Jamie}
Subject: My roommate

Gnah. I dunno if I'll actually kick him, since it'll probably reinforce that whole "woe-is-me-I-am-a-fungus-growing-on-a-garden-slug" thing he does, but I'll want to. I could just . . . what is it with him, anyway? You're not going to push him farther than he's ready for, you wouldn't let him push things farther than either of you are ready for, God knows he wouldn't push things . . . so why's he so terrified people will notice he actually desires his girlfriend, who is, if it's not weird that I'm saying so, pretty darn good-looking just to start with? God knows, the way I feel about Kitty was strong enough to scare me early on--which looks grammatically weird, now I think about it; the scared is less, not the feeling--but Doug . . .

Anyway, I'd be surprised as hell if he actually wants to break up with you. He's just being a twit with his "it's not you, it's me" thing again.

Have you tried telling him to quit insulting your taste in men? :)

From:

To: (Jamie)
From: (Angie)
Subject: Some progress has been made

I have no -idea- what is with him. It is like he thinks if he does anything to defend himself or make any steps forward or do anything that he worries might not be completly one hundred percent what I want. Or something. I do not know if I am making sense.

He is so tenative that he refuses to make any decisions.

We are emailing. It is not entirely comfortable. I think maybe he has decided to stop being spineless for tonight.

I do not think there is breaking up. I am almost positive of it, actually.

No, but that is an excellent idea. I may have to use that? Would you like credit?

From:

To: {Angie}
From: {Jamie}
Subject: Good.

It's that selflessness thing. Way the hell too much of that is him thinking everybody else's needs are by definition more important than his, because he isn't important. Makes me want to dump him in the lake, or something.

For tonight is a good start, anyway.

And yeah, go ahead and use it, but I think it'd have more impact if you pretended it was your line. I don't mind staying behind the curtain. :)

From:

To: (Jamie)
From: (Angie)
Subject: Well, I seem to have gotten him to assert.

I seem to have gotten him to at least state what he wants. I swear, if I ever find out who got it into his head that he isn't important.. well, it will go badly for them.

From:

To: {Angie}
From: {Jamie}
Subject: Way to go, Sisyphina. :)

I'm not going to ask, but good for you.

And can I ride shotgun on the going badly?

From:

To: (Jamie)
From: (Mover of large rocks)
Subject: You know, it took me a while to figure out what you meant.

Definitly. Lengthy prank campaign with publically embarassing consequences?

From:

To: {Atlas . . . ette?}
From: {Jamie}
Subject: Well, Sisyphus is a boy's name.

Absolutely. I need to do something involving the national news media anyway; the Pym Solution raised my standards.

From:

To: (Jamie)
From: (Angie)
Subject: Why do I want to quote that Firefly show now?

You know I think he has left Dr. MacTaggart alone since then, so it must have worked.

If Doug asks you any embarassing questions, please do not mock him?

From:

To: {Angie}
From: {Jamie}
Subject: I dunno, but good show to quote from.

I won't if it's an embarrassing question that marks the end of tonight's episode of Wibbling with Doug, but . . . I can't guarantee I'm gonna have a lot of patience with his relationship insecurities for the next few months, so let's hope this is it for a while.

From: