[identity profile] x-legion.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] xp_communication
To: [Maximoff, Wanda]
From: [Haller, David]
Subject: Vampires and werewolves

You know about this stuff, could these two species breed with each other?


(Don't ask.)

Date: 2012-07-02 04:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com
To: [Haller, David]
From: [Maximoff, Wanda]
Subject: Re: Vampires and werewolves

I just ... what?

You said not to ask but I have to ask - why?

Date: 2012-07-02 04:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com
To: [Haller, David]
From: [Maximoff, Wanda]
Subject: Re: Vampires and werewolves

WHY DO YOU HATE ME? That is the only logical thing I can conjure right now about why you're asking is deep down you harbor a deep seated hatred for me.

It's because you had to come and rescue me from Chthon all those years ago in your boxers, isn't it?

(What logic got this student to the fact that you were a vampire/werewolf hybrid? The last I checked, you weren't either furry certain times of the month nor sporting fangs. Nor, if you're going off of Twilight, sparkly.)

...oh god, why I am searching for the half-life of undead sperm?

Date: 2012-07-02 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com
To: [Haller, David]
From: [Maximoff, Wanda]
Subject: Re: Vampires and werewolves

You promised that if I never went into details about Cain, you'd refrain from making jokes like that!

I'm glad to see that being naked was not enough to fully shield me from things like this. My nakedness should have better trade in value.

How on earth could Jack come across as a werewolf, even through the Astral Plane? Was it because of the personality shifting? The younger generation scares me.

Yes, I do, and I hate you so much for it. I want you to know that when I die, all of my research on werewolf-vampire hybrid sperm is going to be donated to you.

Date: 2012-07-02 05:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com
To: [Haller, David]
From: [Maximoff, Wanda]
Subject: Re: Vampires and werewolves

Well, I've been thinking about sperm for the last while, so I think we're even. ...actually, no, I lie, yours is so much worse. I win!

You try having an Elder God ride shotgun on you in the middle of the night and see how sexy you look, even without clothes on.

I still do not follow. I mean, my reaction would have been "Why are you fat in the Astral Plane?" While probably not good for your Astral Plane self-esteem, at least logical.

The only improbable-but-not-impossible-event that I can currently come up with would be if Rahne came to us, worried that she thought she might have slept with a vampire and might be pregnant. Oh god, I'm now thinking of plausible scenarios now.

And why one should teach safe sex habits to supernatural creatures ...

Date: 2012-07-02 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-scarletwitch.livejournal.com
To: [Haller, David]
From: [Maximoff, Wanda]
Subject: Re: Vampires and werewolves

Not if we're still talking about Cain. Yes, I know you can still see that. But if we're still talking about ancient semen, yes, there are no winners here.

I stand by my stance that her generation scares me. I do not understand "Facebook" or the ability to decide that one's teacher is a werewolf-vampire hybrid. And, yes, both of those things seem logical to me to lump together.

Though congratulations on this being a time where the DID wasn't the weird part of the conversation. How often does that happen?

We have run across Warwolves and a sick young man who projected himself as a giant shadow wolf but, so far, no "werewolves". There's enough literature out there to speculate, of course, and I grew up around too many stories from people who believed them to be real. But they stick to stories right now - where they belong.

Having an Elder God in your head trying to use your body to sex people up does not count as supernatural sex. Especially since it didn't succeed!

(I'll agree to guest lecture only if I can borrow a leather X-Man uniform. It fits the look more than my business wear.)

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