TXT to Cecilia

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

On the way back to the mansion from emergency ice cream run - pretty sure I saw a dildo hanging from somebody's rear view mirror. What?

Comments

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Like full-sized? Or a keychain? Or what?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Like, a full-sized one. Just hanging there. It was green.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

I mean, I guess that way you always know where it is? Plus, you know, if you're on a road trip and you get bored

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

That would be... a very odd thing to see while stuck in traffic. Besides, don't they make tiny vibrators for that?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

(1/2) Yeah but then you have to worry about batteries
(2/2) Who was driving?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I don't know enough about vibrators, obviously. And I have no idea. Someone I didn't know.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Plenty of ways to learn I'd imagine

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Why would I need to learn, though?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

That's a question for Marie-Ange, not me. Read a Dan Savage column some time.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

They had ice cream on sale by two get three free. I got a lot.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

What flavor did you get me?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I got you orange, strawberry, and lime sorbet. Because I feel like you needed something fruity.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

I mean okay but no chocolate? Come on

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Dude, there's chocolate, it's just not for you.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

I think I might have gotten banned from IHOP yesterday

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Well, you couldn't have eaten them out of pancake batter - that's my schtick. What'd you do?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

(1/2) Might have gotten into a fight with a waiter there and caused a little bit of a scene
(2/2) I mean I'm not banned banned, but I probably shouldn't go to the one in town

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

What'd the waiter do?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

He was ignoring me and my friend to flirt with some blonde chick, and I'm pretty sure he was being racist. Doesn't matter. Waffles > pancakes.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

No, pancakes are better than waffles, but there are other places than IHOP to get them. Boycott?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

They also won't do the funny face pancake if you're over a certain age, which is dumb

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

That's ridiculous. And agist. I know all about agism. They suck. Let's go get some hashbrowns from the Waffle House.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Is there even a Waffle House in NY? No

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Dammit. Fine, midnight Chinese? Thai? Korean? Mexican? Greek? We've done midnight steak once this week already.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

I have to get rested for my date and no you do not get to make judgmental comments right now. You have to be supportive

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Fine. I supportively say his hair is ridiculous and he's weird.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

You're weird and I still talk to you. Too much.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I'm not weird. I'm endearing. And I still expect you to wear that tracker.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Why is Law and Order always on?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Because there are like three versions of it and a bajillion seasons of each version so they make good TV filler?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

That stupid noise.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Whiny sax, BUH DUM.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

CHUNK CHUNK

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I want whipped cream.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Mira locón, how are you gonna go on an ice cream run and not get whipped cream?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I thought we had whipped cream! It's a safe assumption most of the time.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Whip your own?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Dude.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Don't dude me. How'd you never pick that skill up?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

How're you missing the innuendo?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

Oh man that is pretty sad

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Your face is sad.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

It is. Because you didn't buy me any chocolate ice cream.

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

I gotta go back for whipped cream, anyway. I'll pick you up some Ben & Jerry's. You want the fudge brownie stuff?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

You know I do

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

A pint of Ben & Jerry's, coming up.

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

What do you think of that chick from Dog Cops?

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

There's a chick on Dog Cops?

[x-barrier.livejournal.com]

I don't know what she's on. I'm talking about that Latina chicks with the big boobs who is famous for some TV show but I can never remember which one.