Thank god, no. It's this new guy, the one I brought back with me after the mission with Gar and Kurt. I just...I keep saying the wrong things around him. I didn't warn him about the potential problems...like demons...I forgot to tell him I had telepathy and then I just was like 'heh, I'm psychic' and now I'm about to meet with him to tell him...God, I feel like I'm a teenager again.
I don't know. I didn't tell him about the potential danger coming here...I feel like I should have. This place has become like a giant flashing neon sign for trouble. Yes, people need somewhere to go but...at the cost of their own potential safety?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and it seems pretty clear that as mutants, we're not normal people, and bad shit's going to happen to us wherever we are. At least at the mansion we can help each other.
Don't tell anyone I said that. If you do, I'll say I was shit-faced.
I try to tell myself that...but I guess...after the Fury, seeing my students...former...students...nearly killed, it makes me regret being one of the catalysts for getting them into this life.
I guess it was the realization that I'm never actually going to be the 'normal' person I've been trying my best all my life to be, hiding my powers and hiding out at the mansion while people I care about are out there having awful things happening to them and maybe I could have helped more if I hadn't been teaching.
I'm not sure. X-Men are a little more physical than I'm comfortable with most of the time. I mean, I'm not really good at the offensive stuff. My powers aren't really suited to it enough for me to be an active member, I don't think?
That's pretty much how I'm leaning right now, yeah. Part of me just wants to keep hiding out at the mansion, but the other part won't shut up about how if I was in the city every day, using my powers, maybe I could help catch or even prevent crimes against mutants. I think transferring to X-Factor full time might be a really good fit for me if I keep feeling this way.
But I'm not going to ditch out on teaching now that the term's just started, either. So I'll see if these feelings blow over as we get closer to the end of first term, and look at my options then, I guess.
At least it looks like Gabriel's happy to be here? So hopefully you can feel better about your part in getting him here?
Perhaps you could try balancing it at first? Do teaching part time and X-Factor the other part of the time? That way you could start slow and ease into it.
Hopefully he'll stay happy. I think I'll get over this feeling I just...that mission really shook me, I guess.
That's how I used to do things, but it's very difficult now that there's no one running the office. Used to be I could teach all day and then spend my evenings working cases, but the cases would just be handed out to me, y'know? I'd get my assignment and head out, no fuss no muss. But with there being no one there anymore, I can't do that. I'd have to put the time in answering the phones and meeting with clients and such. And I just don't have that time while I'm teaching.
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Date: 2014-09-17 02:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-17 02:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-17 02:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-17 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-17 03:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-17 03:12 am (UTC)I don't know. I didn't tell him about the potential danger coming here...I feel like I should have. This place has become like a giant flashing neon sign for trouble. Yes, people need somewhere to go but...at the cost of their own potential safety?
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Date: 2014-09-17 03:22 am (UTC)I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and it seems pretty clear that as mutants, we're not normal people, and bad shit's going to happen to us wherever we are. At least at the mansion we can help each other.
Don't tell anyone I said that. If you do, I'll say I was shit-faced.
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Date: 2014-09-17 03:37 am (UTC)I try to tell myself that...but I guess...after the Fury, seeing my students...former...students...nearly killed, it makes me regret being one of the catalysts for getting them into this life.
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Date: 2014-09-17 02:34 pm (UTC)Spa day this weekend?
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Date: 2014-09-18 02:27 am (UTC)Yes. Please. With wine.
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Date: 2014-09-18 02:51 am (UTC)Oh yes, wine and pizza. And brownies.
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Date: 2014-09-18 02:57 am (UTC)Chocolate too...I'll bring my sweatpants. You really know how to say the right things to a girl.
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Date: 2014-09-18 02:00 pm (UTC)We know how to do spa days right, don't we?
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Date: 2014-09-19 02:24 am (UTC)Damn straight.
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Date: 2014-09-19 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-19 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-19 02:24 pm (UTC)But I'm not going to ditch out on teaching now that the term's just started, either. So I'll see if these feelings blow over as we get closer to the end of first term, and look at my options then, I guess.
At least it looks like Gabriel's happy to be here? So hopefully you can feel better about your part in getting him here?
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Date: 2014-09-20 05:05 am (UTC)Hopefully he'll stay happy. I think I'll get over this feeling I just...that mission really shook me, I guess.
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Date: 2014-09-20 01:44 pm (UTC)The mission to pick him up?
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Date: 2014-09-21 03:29 am (UTC)The Fury mission.
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Date: 2014-09-21 03:23 pm (UTC)Ahh, the one that roasted Garrison like a coffee bean?
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Date: 2014-09-21 03:41 pm (UTC)Yeah...I will admit I smirked at the coffee bean comparison, though. He doing okay?
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Date: 2014-09-21 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-21 04:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-21 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-09-21 04:42 pm (UTC)