Email to Piotr
Jul. 23rd, 2004 02:24 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_communicationTo: Rasputin, Piotr
From: Dayspring, Nathan
Subject: to hell with the diplomatic approach...
And if you have a problem with that, you can come find me. In fact, feel free to come find me anyway - given how impossibly thick you seem to be, it would probably be to your benefit if I did this in person as well as over email.
Your sister has been through something that the vast majority of us can't even imagine. She endured it, alone, during the most impressionable years of her life. Of course that's changed her, and of course a lot of those changes are going to be unsettling and even possibly damaging, to her and the people around her. That is reality, Rasputin - you know, the thing that's happening all around us whether we like it or not?
Telepath or not, I really don't have any idea what the fuck your problem is. The guilt, over not having been able to stop this from happening from her? That would be my guess, but to be perfectly honest, I don't care about your reasoning. The fact that you'd treat her like you did on Wednesday is bad enough, but that little 'oh, pity me' post you made for everyone to see today is disgusting.
She needs you. Whether she wants to admit it or not. If it's difficult for you to handle that and handle her, tough shit. You're either an adult and her brother, or you're a petulant child who's too much of a coward to cope with reality. If you don't have the balls and the sense to be the former, have the common fucking decency not to blame it on her.
Nathan
From: Dayspring, Nathan
Subject: to hell with the diplomatic approach...
And if you have a problem with that, you can come find me. In fact, feel free to come find me anyway - given how impossibly thick you seem to be, it would probably be to your benefit if I did this in person as well as over email.
Your sister has been through something that the vast majority of us can't even imagine. She endured it, alone, during the most impressionable years of her life. Of course that's changed her, and of course a lot of those changes are going to be unsettling and even possibly damaging, to her and the people around her. That is reality, Rasputin - you know, the thing that's happening all around us whether we like it or not?
Telepath or not, I really don't have any idea what the fuck your problem is. The guilt, over not having been able to stop this from happening from her? That would be my guess, but to be perfectly honest, I don't care about your reasoning. The fact that you'd treat her like you did on Wednesday is bad enough, but that little 'oh, pity me' post you made for everyone to see today is disgusting.
She needs you. Whether she wants to admit it or not. If it's difficult for you to handle that and handle her, tough shit. You're either an adult and her brother, or you're a petulant child who's too much of a coward to cope with reality. If you don't have the balls and the sense to be the former, have the common fucking decency not to blame it on her.
Nathan
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Reply:
Date: 2004-07-23 07:01 pm (UTC)From: Rasputin, Piotr
Dear Mr. Dayspring,
Although I'm sure you'd like to think you actually know me and my sister, you don't. As I realize that she indeed has changed and probably dealt with many terrible trials in Limbo, I have been trying to support her. Trying to talk to her and trying to show I love her. She made it very clear that isn't interested in either of those things from me.
Do you have siblings, Nathan? I'd like to hear how you felt if one approached you and purposefully made you feel like shit and see how you'd react. From what I could tell with the glass sculptures on the lawn last week that you don't have the best grip on your emotions either.
And my oh, pity me post was not for "everyone". I use my journal to express my thoughts for it is MY journal. I had something I wanted to say so I put it behind and cut so other people wouldn't have to read it unless they were nosing into my personal business.
If she needs me, I'm waiting. I've made far too many attempts at catching her attention, now the ball is in her court. I know I don't have a tight grip on what I say and I can see my own mistakes but I don't believe I said anything wrong.
If we were talking about a fellow student or my mistake with Amanda last term, things would be different. You are pushing into family matters and you are not welcome.
Piotr
Subject: family business
Date: 2004-07-23 10:27 pm (UTC)Let me try this again in small words. You are (supposedly) the adult. Rage and scream and pout about how she's hurting your feelings all you want, but do it at someone who can help you work through those feelings and refocus on helping her. Don't do it at her. She is the one who needs help - you don't get the privilege of using her as a punching bag for your own insecurities and unhappiness.
People in need don't always want help, Piotr. A lot of the time they reject it, sometimes violently. You owe her more than to let her defensive mechanisms drive you away.
Grow up.
Nathan
Re: Subject: family business
Date: 2004-07-24 06:55 pm (UTC)Maybe instead of insulting me you should act like the adult and offer some guidence and suggestions instead of preaching at me.
I'm 22 years old, which in some minds might constitute an adult but I still consider myself to be learning. There are many things I'm going to have to face in the future years of my life and I will learn from each one.
So, get off your damn soapbox, let me make my mistakes and get off your ass and do something useful for once instead of writing me these stupid e-mails, which you made so clearly, are not working.
Piotr