[identity profile] x-tarot.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] xp_communication
(Late this evening, in a cream envelope, slid under the door to Doug's room. Inside is a letter, written on cream stationery, in slightly wavery but still very precise black ink. Similar envelopes can be found in various other rooms Doug tends to haunt - the music room, the sunroom, the computer lab. All the contents are identical, and written in French.)



Dear Doug,

        I should apoligize. I would like to apoligize. I would prefer to do it in person, but I am not in a position to make demands at the moment.

        After all the time spent learning just the right thing to say, I find myself completly unable to find anything to say that does not seem trite or insincere. It is possible that I am analyzing my own words too closely. It is difficult to just say the first thing that comes to my mind without trying to figure out what your reaction might be, but trying to second-guess your reactions to my words or deeds is why I caused offense in the first place. It led me to lie to you - which I should have never done.
   
        I could go on about how I should have trusted that you would only step in when it appeared that I was going to harm myself using my precognition too much. No matter what I say, it seems shallow. Simply put, I should have trusted you, I did not, and I made a decision that caused a rent in your trust for me.

        I am an idiot. It was stupid, I was not thinking.

        I am scared. Of what I did, of why I did it, and of what it means. I am afraid for Nathan.

        I am worried about you. I hope Jamie or Alison or Miles or Domino or Jubilee or whoever is with you is making sure that you are okay. I know you will be worried and sick and scared for Nathan. I wish I could do something, and I am not sure I can, because I made this all the worse yesterday by being an idiot.
 
        Asking you to forgive me sounds trite. I am not sure that it is that easy. I would, if it is possible, like a chance to apoligize in person, and try to make amends for being so stupid.

Marie-Ange

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