email to all the doctors (including Cecilia)

[x-blink.livejournal.com]

to: [Drs. McCoy, MacTaggert, Bartlet & Reyes]
from: [Clarice Ferguson]


Dear Drs. McCoy, MacTaggert, Bartlet, & Reyes,

I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I...proved why you don't completely trust me in the medlab and why I'm treated like a kid a lot. I'm sorry. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I'm going to try not to let it.

I want a future. I see medicine, maybe not as a doctor, but as something, as a way to achieve it. And it is something I truly love. Even as much as fencing :) I don't want to have to give it up.

I know I'm immature sometimes. I don't want to be, but it's what everyone expects. So in a way I guess I'm living down to their expectations and not exceeding them. I'm not trying to excuse my behavior, just maybe understand it better myself.

I'll do whatever you feel I need to to regain your trust or whatever it is that I have lost. I looked at the field medicine overview and I don't think I should take it quite yet. I don't have room in my schedule, but if I can do some sort of private tutoring or work down in the medlabs I would appreciate it.

I just really don't do well having to wait on the sidelines, when I think I can help. I'm going to have to learn how to do that, if not well, then at least quieter.

Also, I wasn't calling anyone, least of all any of you, a 'fucker'...I'm sorry if anyone thought I was. It was aimed at whoever the so-called "bad guys" (I did not know Shiro was the cause of everything) were this time and at the world in general. It's frustrating all that goes on here sometimes. Again, not an excuse, just the truth.

Clairce Ferguson

PS: How does it feel to be called a doctor with the others Cecilia?

Comments

Reply to Clarice

[x-reyes.livejournal.com]

Clarice,

Trying's all anyone can ever do.

Don't live to meet peoples' expectations. Live to surpass them, and be better than they think you can be. Otherwise, you're letting your potential go to waste, and there's nothing respectable about that.

As for how it feels to be called a doctor with the others - it feels like a taste of this time next year.

C. Reyes

PS: Took the liberty of e-mailing the Professor, Doctor Samson and Madelyn after you left (actually, I started typing before you left, but that's beside the point).

Reply to Clarice

[x-madelyn.livejournal.com]

Clarice,

Thank you for the clarification and the apology. It's definitely a step in the right direction. No-one's asking you to give up anything, but I'm glad you're taking the time to think about things and give yourself the space to consider things, instead of reacting to them.

I'm happy to continue our tutoring sessions, but I think we'll be including some lessons on professionalism and such. Ways of keeping your cool when you have to - and that's just as important in field medicine as actual doctoring in a hospital.

And above all, kiddo, you shouldn't be fulfilling anyone expectations except your own. You're the one that has to live with the consequences of your choices, and I trust you to be mature enough to realise that.

Madelyn.

PS: Out of left field here, but are you still seeing Dr Samson? If anything, he's got some good stress management techniques, which come in handy in this place, believe me...