Text to Haller

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 11:43AM What the ACTUAL fuck is this



16-Aug-2023, 11:44AM The note just says my trash is where it belongs now???
16-Aug-2023, 11:44AM Is this shit from fucking lululemon??????
16-Aug-2023, 11:45AM Every cell in my body is telling me this is your fucking fault

Comments

[xp_legion]

(1) I guess your new phone is working.

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 12:14PM Yes it's fucking working alright
16-Aug-2023, 12:14PM Don't avoid the fucking question, where are my clothes

[xp_legion]

(1/2) Warren overheard us talking about how you were about to lose your apartment and stepped in to salvage and store what he could.

(2/2) Apparently none of your clothes met that requirement.

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 12:29PM Oh okay, you were just casually discussing this in front of the guy you have to literally switch personalities to deal with because he is such an incredible asshole
16-Aug-2023, 12:30PM ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[xp_legion]

(1/3) He wasn't there when we started, he just...
(2/3) Happened.
(3/3) Did he at least get the important things?

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 12:39PM If by important you mean one (1) box of sentimental junk and my computer with a note saying "Antique? Nice" then yeah, sure, I'm set up for life

[xp_legion]

(1) How much did you lose?

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 1:35pm literally everything
16-Aug-2023, 1:35pm I’m sure I had like four t-shirts and two - okay, one and a half pairs of jeans but that half was on the Doberman, and I had a coffee maker -
16-Aug-2023, 1:37pm You know what, what it WAS is not the fucking point, the point is that I am now staring at fucking lavender leggings
16-Aug-2023, 1:38pm I didn’t even know they MADE pink jeans?????

[xp_legion]

(1/2) Well, at least it sounds like you got most of what matters. The rest is replaceable.

(2/2) And I didn't know that either, but you don't have to wear them just because they're in your closet. We'll find you something else.

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 8:01PM I would never wear these???
16-Aug-2023, 8:01PM WHY DID YOU LET THIS GUY BUY ME UNDERWEAR
16-Aug-2023, 8:03PM jesus fucking christ

[xp_legion]

(1/1) The only time I feel prepared to deal with that guy is when I'm a sixteen year old girl. I'm flattered you think it's in my power to "let" Warren do anything.

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 8:12PM And where was Cyndi when I needed her this time???
16-Aug-2023, 8:12PM It came from you, legally that means everything that happened after is your fault

[xp_legion]

(1/3) Busy leaving me high and dry in front of Garrison, apparently.

(2/3) Okay. I'm legally responsible for replacing your coffee maker.

(3/3) Let me know if you need me to replace the ten-day old filter, too.

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 8:29PM How dare you criticize my coffee maker???
16-Aug-2023, 8:29PM I got that thing for free when my neighbor shot someone and went to prison in 2012
16-Aug-2023, 8:29PM and those filters are not single use, that's just greedy capitalist marketing

[xp_legion]

(1/2) As you continue to double down, I'm just going to say this: you know I know what your apartment looked like, right?

(2/2) By the way, I hope the handout helped.

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 8:47PM I can't believe you made the fucking handout
16-Aug-2023, 8:47PM WITH ILLUSTRATIONS
16-Aug-2023, 8:49PM Also I'm not responding to any more criticisms about my apartment from an obvious rich kid

[xp_legion]

(1/2) Just trying to be helpful. Some people appreciate visual aids.

(2/2) Also, owning more than three shirts doesn't mean someone's rich.

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 8:49PM You wear chinos
16-Aug-2023, 8:49PM And don't think I missed you accusing me of reading for the fucking pictures

[xp_legion]

(1/2) I just thought you'd like to be able to visualize who you're talking to.

(2/2) Don't worry. I'm the only one who wears chinos.

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 9:39PM Don't forget to update your freaking handout with the fashion rundown

[xp_legion]

(1) It's nothing in that closet, that's for sure.

[xp_alias]

16-Aug-2023, 10:02PM Who fucking WOULD