Text to Sam Guthrie

[xp_aero]

[1/3] my date for tomorrow just unmatched me
[2/3] fuck you fr samuel
[3/3] also how’re things with y’all?

Comments

[xp_cannonball]

[1/2] wtf did I do?
[2/2] Jay n' Paige are settlin' in okay, Paige and I are getting drinks with one of my friends tonight

[xp_aero]

[1/2] you cracked a man’s skull open in front of half the town!!
[2/2] that ain’t future brother-in-law behavior!!
A few seconds later
[1/1] i’m glad :)

[xp_cannonball]

[1/2] MELODY GRACE
[2/2] HE WAS TRYING TO KILL OUR BROTHER

[xp_aero]

[1/4] yes and I am very happy that jay is alive
[2/4] however
[3/4] you try tellin’ that to jamie russell
[4/4] I’m gonna be single forever ‘cause of you

[xp_cannonball]

[1/2] if I could get asked to the homecoming while actively bein a terror you oughta have no issues at all
[2/2] sounds like you a problem Mel-Belle

[xp_aero]

[1/2] yeah yeah yeah fuck you
[2/2] girls are into troublemakers, boys ain’t into girls who’s brothers’ are liable to give ‘em a black eye

[xp_cannonball]

[1/3] Okay 2 things
[2/3] 1. Who said it was a girl who asked me?
[3/3] 2. I'd only give a guy a black eye if he hurts you- if they're not an idiot they don't hafta worry none

[xp_aero]

[1/2] UR GAY??
[2/2] hah. jeb owes me 10 bucks.

[xp_cannonball]

[1/3] *queer, I've also dated women
[2/3] please stop betting real money on my love life
[3/3] Monopoly money is fine though

[xp_aero]

[1/2] YOUVE DATED??
[2/2] nobody tells me shit ‘round here

[xp_cannonball]

[1/1] I literally have a boyfriend?

[xp_aero]

[1/1] YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND??

[xp_cannonball]

[1/2] Yeah his name's Clint
[2/2] Jay hates him for stupid reasons

[xp_aero]

[1/1] WHAT DOES JAY MEAN YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A SERIAL KILLER WHO PHYSICALLY RESTRAINED HIM

[xp_cannonball]

[1/4] Jay thinks Clint is a serial killer because he gave me a present that he thinks is “suspicious” for our first date and is a bit weird 🙄
[2/4] Clint is NOT a serial killer - he’s very sweet and part of his job involves saving people, not killing them - one a them superhero types
[3/4] and Clint was coming over to watch a movie and freaked out cause Jay was tryin’ to punch me and I weren’t punching him back and he tore Jay offa me and wouldn’t let him up until he promised to stop hitting me
[4/4] Jay ain’t hurt, and Clint only did it cause he was fussin over me

[xp_aero]

[1/1] sureeeeee

[xp_cannonball]

[1/2] he’s very sweet on me and he had to postpone our first date due to a work thing and he found something pretty on his work thing and gave it to me and it was very cute of him
[2/2] he’s smart as hell too, got a doctorate degree in science n everything

[xp_aero]

[1/1] well at least one of us can hold down a boyfriend 🙄

[xp_cannonball]

[1/2] it’s been a month
[2/2] lose the attitude