Email to Scott

[x-psylocke.livejournal.com]

To: [Angelheart]
From: [Wanderer]
Subject: was not what I was expecting.

Yesterday, I had hoped by the time I had returned I could warn you about...everything. But the damage was done. It's already been a day and I haven't seen or heard from you. Well, I take that back. I have seen you making your rounds on the journals, damage control, of course.

I’ve also noticed that you've been trying to keep your thoughts to yourself. Just so you know, you haven't been doing a spectacular job of trying to dim down the link. Lord knows, what Paul was saying to you this morning.

So, I got the hint, you wanted your space. And I’ve left you alone for as long as I possibly can. There's nothing that can be said or done to make up for what happened. But, I can't help but be sorry. For everything.

I love you. I can't stop saying how much and I won't let anything keep me from admitting it out loud. I can't sleep, I can't eat. It hurts to breathe and I can't tell you what my hair looks like. I'm not ashamed of anything we've done. I'm only ashamed of how I let the situation come about.

There's something else I have to say. Something I hadn't realized until a few rounds with a persistent punching bag. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for always doing what's right. For putting everyone else's needs in front of your own. And you need to take care of yourself, Scott. I know you forget when you’re trying to save everyone. But, I can’t.

Normally, I would give you the space that you need. But, I can’t not see you, tonight. I promise I won’t stay long, only long enough to satisfy my frayed nerves.

Please say yes.

Love,
Elisabeth

Comments

I don't know what to say...

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

I put the computer away last night after I made that last post and... well, slept. I didn't see this, and the idea that I left you wondering, all night... I'm so sorry, Betsy.

I love you. I've made a heck of a mess out of all of this, this last couple of days, but I'm also realizing just how stupid it was. I was holding on so tight to the only thing that made sense that I was choking myself.

But I love you. Nothing that's happened changes that in the slightest. And you never have to ask me whether or not you can see me.

I'm not trying to close off the link now, Elisabeth. I hope you can feel that.

Love,
Scott

You don't have to say anything.

[x-psylocke.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. It would seem I'm rather impatient and I peeked in on you. Just so you know, if I hadn't found you sleeping, I would've marched into your rooms without hesitation. For the record, you know that you weren't responsible for this mess, I was. If I hadn't been so focused on making sure you had a good time, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.

Do you know what today is, Scott? It's only another reminder of how much time I've lost because of my selfishness. I can feel you through the link and it's like coming home. I only wish you could feel it too.

Love,
Betsy