xp_communication | Emails to various

Professor Xavier and Mister Summers-

I hope this will not prove necessary. God, I hope it won't be necessary.

But if you two are reading this, then I am dead. And as a short aside, can I just say that that looks really stark just sitting there on the page? It hasn't gotten easier to type out, either.

Marie-Ange has been having recurring nightmares about me dying. Specifically, those nightmares have involved me being shot. When she was working herself into a nervous breakdown a few months ago, I took her notes and all of her divination supplies away from her. During that period, I found some of the notes pertaining to her nightmares about my death. Over the past few months, I have managed to piece together most of the events. The press release about the blood drive was the final piece, and I finally knew when and where the shooting was to occur. Of course, that begs the question, why did I then not just avoid the blood drive? The answer is that all of Marie-Ange's notes pointed towards me dying to save Rahne Sinclair's life. This immensely complicated the situation, to say the least. After a long period of introspection, I realized that I could not live with myself knowing that I had sacrificed Rahne's life to save my own, or worse, that something even more drastic had occurred because I was not there to prevent it.

I am hoping that forewarned is forearmed, and that I will be able to prevent the visions that Marie-Ange has had. Her visions have been prevented before, most notably when she prevented Manuel from drowning in the bath. As a matter of fact, I even have an idea that I hope will save my life. But I am writing all this down as a contingency, in case I should not come back from this.

I am so grateful to the both of you for giving me a place here at the school, and making me welcome. I feel I have learned so much from the both of you, and I am sorry that I won't be able to spend more time learning from you. But I feel I have learned important lessons about myself, and that is what gives me the strength to make this difficult decision. Professor, you speak often about your dream of coexistence, and how we must do everything within our power to change the world to bring about a better one. I feel that I must do everything in my power to save Rahne's life.

Attached please find my last will and testament, as well as all of my collated notes about Marie-Ange's visions. I am obviously worried about how some of the students will react to my death, especially Marie-Ange and Jamie. Please watch over them for me. I especially would not want Marie-Ange destroying herself over me.

It has been a great honor to know you both.

Sincerely,
Douglas Aaron Ramsey

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Dear Alison-

Okay, so I was going to start it "Dear boss lady," but that just sounds silly and not at all dignified. And I'm trying to distract myself and it's not working.

So if you're reading this, I'm probably dead. And no matter how I've tried, I can't find a good way to avoid just coming out and dropping that bomb. So there it is.

Basically, what happened is this. I got a hold of some of Angie's notes about her nightmares regarding me dying. By piecing some things together, I figured it all out, that it's going to be at the blood drive. And yes, I could have avoided the blood drive and been just fine. Except that if I did, Rahne would be dead. That's the thing. Everything points to me dying to save Rahne's life.

Of course, this begs the sort of circular chicken-or-egg question of what would have happened if I had never gotten my hands on these notes. But that's probably something for Doc McCoy to puzzle out. All I know is, I made the decision that I couldn't look myself in the mirror every day knowing that I sacrificed Rahne's life to save my own. I'm hoping that forewarned will be forearmed, and that I can change Angie's visions. It's happened before. But even if I can't, I have to do this.

I still remember my first day here, when I met Jamie and he told me that _Alison Blaire_ lived here. I thought I was going to melt down into a little puddle of fanboy right there. And then I got to meet you, and be your student. And it just got even cooler, because not only did I live across the hall from Alison Blaire, but she was also my teacher. And then I got to know you, and you became just Alison. My friend. And it's been so amazing to know you for who you are, and be your friend.

I hope you can understand why I feel that I have to do this, and why I feel like I can't tell anyone, because I can't take the risk of something worse happening if Angie or the Professor or you keep me from going to the blood drive.

If I'm gone, I'm really going to miss you. Take care of Miles, and Artie, and Jamie, and especially Angie, because right now all of her worst nightmares have just come true.

It's been an honor and a privelege to be your student and your friend.

Sincerely,
Douglas Aaron Ramsey

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Dear Rahne-

So, if you're reading this, I'm probably dead, and you're hopefully alive. And typing out "I'm probably dead" just doesn't get easier with repetition.

Marie-Ange has been having nightmares about me dying for some time. I managed to get a hold of her notes about those dreams, and I managed to piece together what's supposed to happen. I figured out that it's supposed to be the blood drive. But if that were all of it, I'd just not go to the blood drive. The problem is, everything I've been able to figure out points to me dying to save your life. That whoever shoots me is trying to shoot you.

Knowing all of that, I had some hard decisions to make. And ultimately, I decided that I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror knowing that I had sacrificed your life to save my own. So I have to do this. Besides, I'm hoping that I can change what Angie has seen. It's happened before.

I'm hoping that you can understand why it is that I have to do this. "No greater love hath a man than this, that he lay down his life for a friend." You are a good person and a good friend, and I cannot stand by and let you die.

I wish you good health and long life, and happiness beyond measure.

Sincerely,
Douglas Aaron Ramsey

---

[translated from Castillian Spanish]
Manuel-

If you are reading this, then I am dead. Through reading notes on Marie-Ange's nightmares about me dying, I have managed to piece together that it is to happen at the blood drive today. If that were all, I would just avoid the blood drive, but all the signs point to me dying to save Rahne's life. Which complicates everything.

After much thought, I realized that I could not look myself in the mirror if I sacrificed Rahne's life to save my own. Put another way, one that you might understand, I do not feel that I would have any honor if I did such a thing.

Basically, what I am asking of you is this. If I am dead, there will be many in the mansion upset by it, but none more than Marie-Ange. All of her worst nightmares involve me dying, and they will just have all come true. Please watch over her for me, and ensure that she does not do anything drastic because of this. I could not bear the thought of her destroying herself over me.

Thank you for doing this favor for me. You are a good man, and I am honored to have known you.

Sincerely,
Douglas Aaron Ramsey
[/translated from Castillian Spanish]

---

Dear Em-

Well, if you're reading this, I'm dead. And wow, there really isn't a good way to say that. Trust me, I've been trying to come up with one.

Angie's been having nightmares about me dying for some time. And through piecing together some of her notes, I've managed to figure out all the particulars, where, when, and how. So all I'd have to do is avoid the blood drive today (where and when) and I'd be fine, right? The only problem is that all the signs point to me dying to save Rahne's life (how). Which pretty much throws everything on its ear.

Ultimately, after a lot of thought, I realized that I couldn't look myself in the mirror every day knowing that I had sacrificed Rahne's life to save my own. So I have to do this. Especially because if I don't go, there's no guarantee this guy couldn't do something even worse. I'm hoping that forewarned is forearmed, and that I can change this. It's happened before with other visions of Angie's.

I know you and Logan felt like you had to get away from the mansion and all, but I really wish you were here right now. On top of the fact that I miss you a lot, I wish you were here so that I could take what time I may have left and get a few last hugs from you, sit around and talk to you a few more times.

I know you don't think you're as strong as I think you are. But you are. I know it's going to hurt. Don't be afraid to lean on Logan and everyone here at the mansion. Speaking of short and growly, he better take care of you, or I'll come haunt him or something.

I wish you good health, long life, and happiness beyond your dreams.

With love,
Douglas Aaron Ramsey

---

Dear Jamie-

So I was trying to find a funny way to start this off, but I don't suppose there's very much funny about me probably being dead right now, if you're reading this.

Basically, what happened is this. Angie's been having recurring nightmares about me dying. Going through some of her notes, I figured out all the particulars, that it was going to happen today at the blood drive. Easy enough, just avoid the blood drive at all cost, right? Except that everything pointed towards me dying to save Rahne's life. Which made things a lot more complicated. Eventually, I realized that I couldn't look myself in the mirror every day knowing that I had sacrificed Rahne's life to save my own.

I don't know if I can change what Angie's seen. It's happened before. But even if I can't, this is something I have to do. I couldn't live with myself knowing what I know, knowing that there was more that I could have done. I couldn't have looked everyone in the eye over Rahne's coffin knowing that I could have saved her. Even if that means I'm buying a coffin of my own.

You've been the best roommate and friend that I could have ever asked for. I am so lucky to have gotten to know you and live with you. And hey, this way I got you last with that movein prank. *grin*

Please watch over Angie for me. I don't want her doing anything drastic because of me. Take care of the little guys, too, and try to explain why I had to do what I did. Keep HeliX going, and keep dreaming the Professor's dream. I know it'll be hard to replace me, but I'd like it if you could keep PCIF going, too.

I wish you a long life and happiness beyond measure. Whenever you have a gig, or pull a good prank on someone, think of me and I'll be there.

With love (in a totally manly not-at-all-gay sort of way, of course... ;-) ),
Douglas Aaron Ramsey

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Dear Dom-

Well, if you're reading this, I probably could have used some of that good luck of yours. If you're reading this, it means that I'm dead. Angie's been having recurring nightmares about me getting shot. And from going through some of her notes, I figured out how, where, and when. So, easy enough, just avoid the blood drive (where and when), right? Except that everything points toward me dying to save Rahne's life. And I realized after a lot of thought that I couldn't look in the mirror if I didn't do everything possible to save her life.

Maybe I can change Angie's visions. Maybe I can't. But I have to try. I couldn't live with myself if I saved my own life at the expense of someone else's. Not when I have a chance.

God, this is so hard, Dom. Keeping it from everyone so that they won't stop me from going to the blood drive, not falling apart crying on Angie every night. As it is, I'm surprised nobody's figured out that I'm not doing very well here. Now that I know the whole picture, I have to fake it even more. And it hurts. I want to tell her. But I know she'd do everything to keep me from the blood drive, and I can't run the risk that something even worse would happen if I'm not there.

I'm sorry we only ever really got to know each other in passing when you were stopping by the mansion. I'm not sorry for bailing your ass out in Russia, though. Try to take better care of yourself, Dom, please? And watch over Angie for me, and make sure that Nate doesn't beat himself up over this.

I wish you a long happy life filled with friends, love, and luck beyond measure.

With love,
Douglas Aaron Ramsey

---

Dear Miles-

I am so sorry, little buddy. If you're reading this, then it means that I've had to leave, and I hate to leave you. But more than that, I have to do this thing. Because if I don't, then Rahne dies instead. And because I know about it from Angie's journals, I hope that maybe I can stop it, or at least prevent something worse from happening.

You were a great roommate, you and Artie both. I'm going to miss you and your mom like crazy. I hope that someday you'll understand why I have to do this, though. I know that you will grow up to be a strong, good man. I'm sorry I won't get to know that man, but I know you'll make me proud.

Love,
Doug

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Dear Nate-

If you're reading this, then I'm dead. Trust me, that just doesn't get easier to type no matter how many times I write it.

Angie's been having nightmares about me dying for some time now. I'm sure she's probably told you about them. When she was working herself into a nervous breakdown and I stole her notes, I found some notes about her nightmares. And I slowly pieced them together, and I figured out the particulars. Which would mean I could just avoid the blood drive and everything would be fine, right? The only problem with that theory was that everything pointed toward me dying to save Rahne's life. And I finally realized after a lot of soul-searching that I couldn't look myself in the mirror every day knowing I'd sacrificed Rahne's life to save my own. Or worse, that not going caused something even worse to happen.

I'm hoping that forewarned is forearmed and I can change Angie's visions. It's happened before, you know that. But I just don't see any way out of this.

I'm honored to have gotten to know you since you arrived here. You taught me a lot, and I'm so grateful to you. Congratulations on your engagement to Doc Mactaggart. I'm sorry I won't be there to see you two make it official, but I know you'll spend the rest of your lives deliriously happy together.

Please take care of Angie for me. I don't want her to destroy herself over me.

I wish you long life, good health, and happiness beyond measure.

With love,
Douglas Aaron Ramsey

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Dear Amanda-

Well, if you're reading this, then I'm dead. There it is, right there out in front. God, it's hard to keep typing that, to keep reading it on the screen, keep thinking about it.

When I stole Angie's notes, I found some of them on her recurring nightmares about me dying. And after putting all the pieces together, I figured out that it was going to be at the blood drive today. Simple answer to the problem, then, just avoid it. Except that all the notes point to me dying to save Rahne's life. And after a lot of hard thinking, I realized that I couldn't look at myself in a mirror knowing that I had sacrificed Rahne's life to save my own.

I'm hoping I can change it. God, I'm hoping I can change it. It's happened before. Honestly, I think the waiting and knowing is the most nerve-wracking. Because the blood drive is still a decent amount of time away, and all I can do is keep running over the notes and drawings in my head.

I'm sorry to leave everyone, but I feel like I have to do this. Please take care of Angie for me. I don't want her destroying herself over me.

I feel honored to have known you. You are a good person, even though you may not always feel like it. I know you've struggled with the magic, but I want you to know that I never blamed you for the love potion, even though I know you blamed yourself.

I wish you long life, good health, and happiness beyond measure.

With love,
Douglas Aaron Ramsey

---

Dearest Angie-

If you're reading this, I'm probably dead. *wry chuckle* And isn't that a morbid thing to have typed out on the page. There's not really a good way to come right out and say "well, I'm probably dead now, so..."

Okay. Feeble attempts at gallows humor not really working.

I'm sorry. If I wasn't able to change things, then every nightmare you've had about me dying has come true, and I can't be there to help you through it. I'm sorry we didn't have more time together.

I want you to understand that I had to do this, though. I pieced together your notes, and I figured out what was going to happen. Yes, I could have simply not gone to the blood drive today. But if I had done that, Rahne would be dead right now. Seeing your notes and knowing what was likely going to happen, I had to make some very difficult decisions. But in the end, I decided that I couldn't look in the mirror every day knowing that I hadn't done everything that I could, that I had sacrificed someone else's life to save my own.

And I'm hoping that, forewarned, I can try and change what you've seen. I don't know if it will work or not, but all I know is I have to try.

I'm sorry for keeping this secret from you. But I know you, and I know that you would find a way to ensure that I couldn't go to the blood drive. And I can't take the chance that something even _more_ horrible might happen if I'm not there. This is something I have to do, regardless of how hard it is to look at all these notes and stare the very real possibility of my own death in the face. Because I wouldn't be me if I didn't do this.

Don't feel responsible for this. This was my choice. Don't destroy yourself over this, either. Talk to Doc Samson, allow people to be there for you and comfort you. I'm not saying don't mourn, but don't let it consume you.

And as long as you remember me, when you hear a song that reminds you of me, I'll be there. When the wind wraps around you, my arms will be there. When the sun kisses your face, my lips will be there. And no matter where you go, my heart will be with you.

With all my love, always and forever,
Douglas Aaron Ramsey