Domino and Nathan, IM log

[x-cable.livejournal.com]

Set during this conversation with Amanda. What did Dom say to him, anyway?


LadyLuck13: Do I get to snicker at the new IM name?
X-Spartan: Hey, Dom. You're up late.
LadyLuck13: I'm in Kyrgyzstan, idiot. I don't even know what time it is.
X-Spartan: Kyrgyzstan?
LadyLuck13: Kyrgyzstan. Karakol, according to Mina. Who says hi.
X-Spartan: Hi, Mina.
X-Spartan: You should climb Khan-Tengri while you're there.
LadyLuck13: Nate, I'm not running off to climb a mountain.
X-Spartan: Why? There are worse ways to spend your off time. If you're there anyway...
LadyLuck13: Nate. Focus, old man.
X-Spartan: On?
LadyLuck13: The conversation?
X-Spartan: Oh, we were having a conversation?
LadyLuck13: ... are you punchy, or being perverse?
X-Spartan: Both?
LadyLuck13: Uh-huh.
X-Spartan: What do you want, Dom?
LadyLuck13: I was talking to Amanda tonight.
LadyLuck13: You know, it's okay to have trouble coping with traumatic anniversaries. But you don't necessarily have to take it out on her.
LadyLuck13: Nate.
LadyLuck13: Nathan.
LadyLuck13: If I find out you stomped away in a huff, I'm so kicking your ass.
X-Spartan: I'm still here, Dom.
LadyLuck13: Good. So.
LadyLuck13: I'm still waiting for an explanation.
X-Spartan: Fuck you.
LadyLuck13: ... that wasn't precisely the response I was looking for.
X-Spartan: Well, it's the one you're getting.
LadyLuck13: Oh, so it's like that, is it?
X-Spartan: If you're going to start giving me shit, yes, it is.
LadyLuck13: Selfish bastard.
X-Spartan: I did not 'take it out on her'.
X-Spartan: What, I'm supposed to be jumping for joy over the fact that she's exposing herself like that?
LadyLuck13: The risks have got to be negligible, if she's talked both Xavier and Pete into supporting it.
LadyLuck13: You want to get technical, there's probably a better chance that she'll get hit by a bus than have Mistra come after her.
X-Spartan: Oh, so now I'm being paranoid.
LadyLuck13: Of course you are.
X-Spartan: Fine.
LadyLuck13: Don't do that. You're nearly forty years old - you don't get to sulk anymore.
X-Spartan: ... I'm going to stomp away in a huff and take my chances, I think.
LadyLuck13: You are so sulking. She decided her judgement was better than yours - and she's right. You're just too much of a control freak to accept it gracefully.
X-Spartan: You know, it's really a little for psychoanalysis. Maybe you could call in the morning and bitch me out instead?
LadyLuck13: I'm on a plane by then. I'm not willing to wait until I'm back in Berlin.
X-Spartan: Lucky me.
LadyLuck13: Yet, oddly, you don't seem to be signing off. Why is that?
X-Spartan: Because I know you'd never let me hear the end of it?
LadyLuck13: Because you're too damned stubborn to back down.
X-Spartan: That too, I suppose.
LadyLuck13: You really let her down, Nate.
LadyLuck13: She needed support. Instead, she's got to worry about the effect what she's doing is having on you, too.
LadyLuck13: You're making yourself unreliable in her mind again. That what you want, really?
X-Spartan: You know, you make something of an art out of the guilt trip.
LadyLuck13: I try. But you know I'm right.
LadyLuck13: And you know that you're being a wimp. How much recovery time do you need, Nate?
X-Spartan: You know - go to hell, Dom.
LadyLuck13: Or is she right? Are you just beaten, and not wanting to change that?
LadyLuck13: When a seventeen year old kid, even one as perceptive as Amanda, can look in your eyes and see that you're terrified every time the subject of Mistra comes up, you've got a problem, Nate. You're not keeping it together.
X-Spartan: I can't believe you're letting me have it from fucking Kyrgyzstan.
LadyLuck13: They're not the fucking monster in the closet, Nathan. You've beaten them before.
X-Spartan: You're got to be kidding. When have I beaten them?
LadyLuck13: ... you're not serious.
LadyLuck13: Uhh, let's see. Anika. Mick. That kid Kyle. How many retrieval teams over the last eight years?
LadyLuck13: Or don't the victories count as much as the defeats?
X-Spartan: This is a really odd sort of pep talk.
LadyLuck13: Because it's not a pep talk. It's a pep kicking you in the ass.
LadyLuck13: Snap the fuck out of it, old man.
X-Spartan: Why? Because you say so?
LadyLuck13: Damn it, Nathan.
X-Spartan: I'm sorry if I'm not casual about it all yet.
LadyLuck13: It's been six months!
X-Spartan: Oh, so I should have long since bounced back, is that it?
LadyLuck13: No!
LadyLuck13: But if you don't get back on the fucking horse, you never will.
X-Spartan: Fuck you, I did!
LadyLuck13: What, Vermont and Belgium?
LadyLuck13: That wasn't getting back on the horse, asshole. That was spitting in Mistra's eye and then running home like the hounds of hell were on your heels.
LadyLuck13: That was a kid lashing out at an abusive parent and hoping he dodged the return hit.
X-Spartan: I'm rapidly forgetting why precisely I'm still here reading this fucking nonsense.
LadyLuck13: Because there is some little part of you that knows it's not fucking nonsense. Perhaps this little part of you is even getting tired of licking your wounds in a corner.
X-Spartan: I can't believe you.
LadyLuck13: You're doing your best impression of a wounded animal, you know. Either cringing at or ready to bite the hand trying to help it.
X-Spartan: I'm done.
X-Spartan: Have a good flight.
LadyLuck13: Coward.
LadyLuck13: Ah-hah.
LadyLuck13: You're still here. See? You can't back off.
LadyLuck13: ... well, unless you just didn't sign off...
LadyLuck13: Nate?
LadyLuck13: Nathan?
X-Spartan: I'm here.
LadyLuck13: Are you okay?
X-Spartan: No, I am not fucking okay. Am I supposed to be?
LadyLuck13: No... not after I just did my almighty best to rip you a new asshole from the other side of the world.
X-Spartan: Well, congratulations. Good job.
LadyLuck13: Nate...
X-Spartan: What, you want me to admit you're right? Fine. You're right. In all particulars.
LadyLuck13: Okay. So what are you going to do about it?
LadyLuck13: Nathan. Focus. It's no good to just say I'm right.
X-Spartan: Why? If it's true, it's true.
LadyLuck13: Are you okay?
X-Spartan: No.
LadyLuck13: I'm sorry.
X-Spartan: Damn it, Dom... I don't want to let her down! I just can't be there. I can't commemorate it! It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been there!
LadyLuck13: Nate, calm down. It wasn't your fault. How often do we all have to say that?
X-Spartan: I'm tired of hearing it!
LadyLuck13: Calm down. It'll be all right.
X-Spartan: I just can't sleep, and the damned training's a disaster, and now they're all thinking about Columbia...
LadyLuck13: Nate, you need to rest. Even if you can't sleep. Just lie down and close your eyes.
X-Spartan: I'm about ready to try the damned pills. Moira tried to tell me I should.
LadyLuck13: Oooh, boy. If you're at the point where you're seriously considering drugs, I think it's time to give in.
X-Spartan: Yeah.
LadyLuck13: Look. I love you, old man.
LadyLuck13: And I don't think you're weak.
X-Spartan: Okay.
LadyLuck13: Now go get some rest, all right?
X-Spartan: Yeah.
LadyLuck13: I'll talk to you once we're back in Berlin?
X-Spartan: Yeah.
***X-Spartan has signed off.