Encrypted email to Moira
Feb. 2nd, 2005 02:03 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
x-cable.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
xp_communicationTo: [Moira]
From: [Nathan]
Subject: that meeting
I know you said to call, but it's too late. Although at this point, I suppose it's entirely possible that you might be up eating breakfast. You don't need to hear me babble incoherently over the phone at you, though; I'll call tomorrow afternoon. This afternoon. Whatever you want to term that time several hours from now.
I'm getting off-track. It went all right. Nothing blew up, there was no shooting, and a decided lack of drugged beer this time around. I won't lie to you, though, I'm still reeling. What he told me, Moira... I can still hardly believe it.
He was a director. MacInnis was one of the Mistra directors, for eighteen years. He was one of the original six, right from the beginning of the program. Before they ever picked me up. I don't know why he played instructor for a couple of years, he didn't really explain, but when I thought he disappeared, he really didn't. He just became one of the directors whose faces we were never allowed to see.
He spent the last six of those years trying to bring Mistra down from the inside. The others found out, and forced him out, tried to kill him, because of me. Because he tried to help me, when I tried to run. He gave himself away. I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? That doesn't make any sense.
But he was telling the truth. About all of it. I won't go into the rest of it, not now, but there's so much more to this than I thought. So many people involved. Ex-operatives - second-gens, all of them, but people I knew, from the first half-dozen second-gen groups, before they started recruiting from prisons and mental facilities. People I thought were dead, Moira, and I thought I was clever, getting Ani out the way I did. The scope of what they were doing, or trying to do, before... I said I wasn't going to get into that, didn't I?
It's just so much to take in. I ought to sleep - I sure as hell didn't last night, but my head's spinning. Time to break out the little green pills again, I think.
Love you. Miss you. I will talk to you tomorrow. Will endeavor to calm down a little before I do.
Nathan
From: [Nathan]
Subject: that meeting
I know you said to call, but it's too late. Although at this point, I suppose it's entirely possible that you might be up eating breakfast. You don't need to hear me babble incoherently over the phone at you, though; I'll call tomorrow afternoon. This afternoon. Whatever you want to term that time several hours from now.
I'm getting off-track. It went all right. Nothing blew up, there was no shooting, and a decided lack of drugged beer this time around. I won't lie to you, though, I'm still reeling. What he told me, Moira... I can still hardly believe it.
He was a director. MacInnis was one of the Mistra directors, for eighteen years. He was one of the original six, right from the beginning of the program. Before they ever picked me up. I don't know why he played instructor for a couple of years, he didn't really explain, but when I thought he disappeared, he really didn't. He just became one of the directors whose faces we were never allowed to see.
He spent the last six of those years trying to bring Mistra down from the inside. The others found out, and forced him out, tried to kill him, because of me. Because he tried to help me, when I tried to run. He gave himself away. I feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? That doesn't make any sense.
But he was telling the truth. About all of it. I won't go into the rest of it, not now, but there's so much more to this than I thought. So many people involved. Ex-operatives - second-gens, all of them, but people I knew, from the first half-dozen second-gen groups, before they started recruiting from prisons and mental facilities. People I thought were dead, Moira, and I thought I was clever, getting Ani out the way I did. The scope of what they were doing, or trying to do, before... I said I wasn't going to get into that, didn't I?
It's just so much to take in. I ought to sleep - I sure as hell didn't last night, but my head's spinning. Time to break out the little green pills again, I think.
Love you. Miss you. I will talk to you tomorrow. Will endeavor to calm down a little before I do.
Nathan
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