xp_communication | Email to Scott

To: Scott Summers
From: Hank McCoy

This started out as a comment to your extremely public criticism, but maybe it's better to keep it between us.

In my defense, Scott, I would have intervened earlier had I been able to do so... but I'm on night shifts, and even I can't stay awake twenty-four hours a day. Should I just ignore everything that goes on while I've been sleeping because not being able to react instantaneously denies me any right to an opinion later? I am sorry that you are the only one who did make a move to handle the situation. I would have helped if it were possible, although given that the consensus seems to be that my way of handling it would have been entirely wrong, perhaps it's better this way.

And Scott? We all know I was the only one who said anything at all about how the situation was handled, and my only criticism was that Manuel might have taken being rescued as tacit approval for his behaviour. Next time, if you want to take issue with my behaviour, please do so directly. I sincerely doubt that there's anyone on the staff list who didn't know who you meant.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

x-cyclops.livejournal.com

Hank,

I'd be lying if I said that the comment about being left to hold the bag wasn't directly partially at you, but it wasn't directed entirely at you, either. You may have been the only one to speak up about disagreeing with how I handled things, but you weren't the only one who felt that way.

Of course being on the night shift doesn't deny you the right to have an opinion, but while you're getting angry at me for the public criticism, you might stop to acknowledge that you were also leveling public criticism at me. Ideally I would have reacted with a little more maturity than I did, but are you telling me that I shouldn't have taken it as criticism directed at me? Maybe we do all have a joint responsibility to our students, but I have an official responsibility to get in the middle of these situations, a higher standard that I have to live up to because I agreed to take on this position. I accepted the responsibility from Charles, and I have to carry it out.

Like I said to Maddie on the staff journals, there have been a lot of times these last few years that I've really thought I wasn't suited for it. Last fall just about killed what confidence I did have, and it's been difficult to rebuild that. The fact is, setting aside whether or not I should have been more open about how I handled things the other day, I came away really believing, for the first time in ages, that I'd done it right. That I'd defused the situation successfully, without precipitating any complaints about the teachers bringing the hammer down.

And then you stood up in public and called my whole approach to the situation into doubt... not to mention suggesting that I haven't been doing my job in trying to moderate the climate of the school. I should have taken it better than I did, Hank, but it stung. You know how much I doubt myself when it comes to this sort of thing.

I know you're on edge these days, that you've got a lot on your mind and a lot of concerns that have bearing on your reactions to things. But it seems like every time we disagree about something you go right for my weak spot. Right for the self-doubt.

I like to look as though I'm completely over what happened in the fall, but I'm not. I still talk to Charles about it regularly, and this spring? Has been enormously difficult, between Jean's return and the Youra mission. In a lot of ways I'm still struggling, Hank, and whether you intend to or not, you seem to be making a habit of trying to kick my feet out from under me.

I'm trying to be forthright here, not hurtful. If I've messed up on that score, I'm sorry, but I figured it was most important to be honest.

Scott