Emails

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

To: Madrox, Jamie; Pryde, Katherine; Colbert, Marie-Ange; Blaire, Alison; McCoy, Henry
From: Ramsey, Doug
Subject: Right then...



Which one of you brilliant people put the filter on my journal, and whose idea was it? I haven't been able to post or check my email in a week because it went screwy. And when I finally went in to look at the code, there was a filter buried there that I don't remember putting in. Given that there are only two suspects I have that really have that level of programming ability, it's either Kitty or Doc McCoy.

I understand why you guys might have felt it necessary, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm more than a little pissed off at you guys right now. I just found Marie's email. Which one of you snoops _read my private stuff_? Stab your eyes, you didn't have the right.

So who wants to spill the beans?

-Doug


To: [Em]
From: [Doug]
Subject: Your email...

Em-

I just found out that a filter was put on my email and journal system by the self-appointed "suicide watch" after the potion debacle. Including an email from you I imagine one of them read.

I don't...I don't have words. I understand why they did it, but it doesn't change how pissed I am at them for it. Also, how sorry I am that they censored you like that. I can't imagine what you must have thought.

I'm...sorry. I know, it's not my fault, but you know me.

So how's the vacation with Miles and Artie and Logan? I'm a little behind on the journal system, so I haven't really been able to check on anything.

-Doug

Comments

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

To: Ramsey, Doug; Pryde, Katherine; Colbert, Marie-Ange; Blaire, Alison; McCoy, Henry
From: Madrox, Jamie
Subject: Re: Right then...

Angie and Alison and I came up with it, and Dr. McCoy put it in. We were going to take it off and tell you about it last week, only then all that stuff happened.

You have every right to be pissed off at us; it was a crappy thing to do. But I'd do it again, because Jesus, Doug, I've never seen anybody look the way you did that week, it scared the piss out of me, and I hope I never see anything like that again. Maybe that makes me a bad person, I dunno, but I was scared.

I was the one who found that e-mail, and for what it's worth I only read the first sentence-and-a-half. If you can tell me it wouldn't have sent you right back down to trying to climb out the window if you'd read it when it was sent, then you can kick my ass for free. Hell, you can have a free shot right now if that's what you want.

Y'know, though, in an odd way I'm glad you're angry, because at least that means I know you know we won't go away at the first opportunity.

I'm sorry, man.

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

I was trying to indulge myself in a bit of pissyness, darnit. You're right, about all of it. It would have destroyed me then. I was in the worst place I've ever been, and I didn't really want to get out at that point. I thought I deserved to be there.

Just...honestly, if it weren't for the invasion of privacy with that email from Em, I probably wouldn't even be this mad. Just that I have a hunch what she must have thought of it. If you told her.

And no, a free shot probably wouldn't make me feel better. You know that. Not much on pointless acts of machismo.

Know that I will most definitely gain my revenge in other ways, though.

-Doug

[x-crowdofone.livejournal.com]

Revenge in other ways is fine.

I did tell her about it, actually. And apologized. And then I apologized again, and explained why I did it, and that I didn't consider it a small thing--because I don't; by my reckoning it's the second-worst thing I've done since I came here, which pretty much makes it the second-worst thing I've ever done.

"Necessary" doesn't equal "right." And I definitely should have told you earlier. But . . . that's life, I guess.

[x-kitten.livejournal.com]

To: { Dougie }
From: { the kitten }
Subject: So you know...

It wasn't me. I knew about it, Jamie asked me to do it but I couldn't. Not for moral reasons cause I think they were right, but for other, less sound ones like my own instability. Doc McCoy did it, and if you don't get it that they did it because they love you and care about you and wanted to protect you then you're blind.

I understand being pissed at the invasion of privacy - do you understand being frightened about losing someone you love? M-A and Jamie were so worried, and they just wanted to help.

Don't know what the email from Marie was or what's in it, but answer truthfully, at least to yourself - what would you have done if you'd gotten it three weeks ago? Cause I bet the answer wouldn't have been yell at us and then deal with it rationally.

You've already gotten the filter off, obviously, so I won't offer to help.

Yours,
-Kitty

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

To: {Kit}
From: {Doug}

Kit-

*sigh* You're right, about all of it. I was in a very bad place, and didn't want out. That email would have destroyed me then. And I wouldn't have cared.

And concern for your own emotional stability was a perfectly sound and good reason not to do it. I hope things have been getting better in that regard. If there's anything I can do to help... :-/

I know they wanted to help, and honestly, I wouldn't be this mad if it weren't for the email from Marie. I can only guess what she must have thought if she was told. And I feel horrible that it was done because of me.

Anyways, sorry to go all accusatory.

-Doug

[x-kitten.livejournal.com]

To: {Dougie}
From: {the kitten}
Subject: re:

Well, I'm glad you've at least calmed down enough to think abuot it. Like I said, being upset is totally understandable.

And yeah, I'm ok these days. As you no doubt know, Doc Samson's a bit of a genius sometimes. But thanks for the offer. :)

I imagine, Marie thought the same thing the rest of us did - that you were hurt by everything just like we were, and feeling upset and guilty and everything else, and that you needed time. I don't think she'd hold it against you.

No worries,

-Kitty

[x-rogue.livejournal.com]

To: [Doug]
From: [Em]
Subject: Emails, etc

Jamie apologized for the email incident. I understand why he did it. I hardly remember writing it, honestly, I was that upset. If I'd been less hysterical, I wouldn't have written it. In some ways I'm glad it didn't get to you because it's not how I wanted to deal with things with you anyway. Generally horrible time for all of us, right? They were pretty panic-stricken over your emotional state and probably would have done anything to make sure you were okay. That's a good thing, in my eyes. I know you're sorry, but it wasn't your fault at all, we /all/ know whose fault that is now.

Look, I don't know if they took it down or not, I'll have to go and check, but... did people tell you all about the whole Betsy-Kwannon thing? For heaven's sake, I hope someone said something. I didn't want to say anything until I knew you were well enough to be back on the journals and all. I'll wait to hear what you know to talk to you about it.

As for the vacation, I can honestly say that I wish you were here. The boys are having a great time for all that it's pretty chilly out still. The few other cottages down here on this stretch of beach are deserted and they can be as wild and silly and themselves as they want to be. S and Sarah seem to be good at encouraging wild and silly. :) Logan's surviving all four of them admirably. I'll have to make this up to him next week, though, because this was supposed to be time for just us. It's all good in the end, I think. I'll have some time on Saturday when I'm back to write my certs if you want to get together and talk.

Hope all is well,
Marie