(no subject)

[x-shinobi.livejournal.com]

TO: Espinosa, Angelo; Colbert, Marie-Ange
FROM: Shaw, Shinobi
Subject: You know...

Cheers.

I know you two have capital-I Issues with Manuel, and that's fine. I can understand that. I don't like him very much myself, most of the time.

But if you could possibly find it in your hearts to avoid him, instead of driving him further and further down into the self-destructive and near-suicidal state he's digging himself into, I would very much appreciate it. You keep telling him to stay away from you - how about returning the favour before he starves himself to death? I don't fancy spending another night helping Marie clean up his room and wash his own vomit off of him just because you two can't manage to refrain from baiting him.

I know he hurt you both, directly and indirectly. I know he's a scary little shit who treats people like garbage.

This does not give EITHER of you an excuse. He wasn't born this big of a fuck-up, you know. He has his trauma, just like you two have yours, and if you can't treat him with an ounce of decency, even if that means never speaking or typing to him, then you need to get off your damned high-horses before somebody kicks you off of them.

You are both my friends, so I say this with the utmost respect and patience: Grow up, stopbeing such fucking hypocrites, and take the high road, or next time, my e-mail is going to Xavier and Frost. I am NOT doing this again.

-Shinobi





TO: [sarah]
FROM: [shinobi]
Subject: Fucking hell.

Killing my classmates is bad, right?

I'm going to be stuck in Manny's room tonight, love. He's practically killing himself up here, so I'm on suicide watch 'til Marie gets back. He's.. Christ, he isn't in good shape at all. I know he's a prick, but it's my dad's fault, you know? I need to be here for him.

Fuck.

I'm gonna need you tomorrow, Sarah. Can we do something? Just hide in the basement or anything?

Comments

[x-tarot.livejournal.com]

To: (Shinobi)
From: (Angie)
Subject: Manuel

Other than a comment I now regret today, and one request for him to stay away from -me-, I have not spoken to Manuel at all. I have not been home to do so. I do not believe less than ten words can cause him to be suicidal. If it has, then for that I apoligize. I do not want him dead, just ...

I want an explanation. Once I have an explanation for why he tried to make me use my precognition further than I can, causing me to hallucinate and project bizarre images for a day, and you may get an explanation about that from myself or Doug when we return, he saw it too, I have no intention of ever speaking to Manuel again.

[x-shinobi.livejournal.com]

To: (Angie)
From: (Shinobi)
Subject: Re: Manuel

You are not the only one treating him poorly, poppet. Every little bit will eventually add up - and it has. He looks remarkably like he did when he first arrived at this school, today. He is under the impression that everybody under this roof hates him, fears him, and wants him dead, and he's about a hair's breadth from granting them that wish. While your comment all on its own may not do much damage, when it's added on to everything else, it's just as damaging as anything else could be.

Recall how you acted towards Doug when he was suicidal. That is where Manuel de la Rocha is now - but he does not have as many friends to protect him as Doug did. He has me, and he has Marie, and that is it.

If you don't want to speak to him again, don't speak to him again. If you want an explanation, I'll see to it that you get one, later. If he can even explain it. He can't control his powers - that's why he's here. He doesn't understand people at all - that's also why he's here. He's an infant, and an extremely irritating one, but he'll be a decent man once he gets his head on straight.

-Shinobi

[x-tarot.livejournal.com]

To: (Shinobi)
From: (Angie)
Subject: Re:Manuel

He is right in some of that. I thought he could be a decent person. Now, thinking about having to go to class with him ... he scares me. I had no illusions about what he was before - spoiled, selfish and concerned mostly with his image. I did not expect him to help Kwannon, or to try to shove a hot poker in my brain and force me to use my powers. So, yes, I am afraid of him and more now, because he has had some of his power returned to him.

I do not want him to know I am scared, Shinobi. He already tried to hurt me once, how can I be sure he won't again?

He refused to explain what happened once already, Doug tells me. I do not have much faith that he will be so willing to explain it now.

You know, the worst part about this is knowing that I could -know- how it will turn out. I cannot decide if I would feel terribly guilty if Manuel were to fail, or if I would be relieved.

I will leave him alone. I will ignore his posts, I will not speak to him, or send him email or seek him out. However, he and I share a class that I cannot avoid, and I doubt Ms. Frost is going to let Manuel out of Speech either. In that class alone, if I have to speak to him, I will.

[x-shinobi.livejournal.com]

Has it not occured to you that perhaps Kwannon - who was inhabiting the body of a telepath - may have, I don't know, forced Manuel to help him? He mirrors peoples' emotions. He can't help that. If she wanted him to help her, he would have felt that emotion, and acted upon it. He has no control - again, that is why he is here. However, I don't know about the second bit, there.. have you mentioned it to Emma? If not, you should. That is most definitely unacceptable, and she'll deal with it appropriately.

I won't tell him you're scared, luv, but it doesn't take an empath to see that everyone is scared of him. I am, I know Marie is.. and he's afraid of himself, too, I think. And that much isn't his powers mirroring anyone else - he's afraid of himself right now, with the dampener on.

People need to be given more than one chance to do something, sometimes. As I understand it, this institution is rather big on second chances. Were it not, you, Jamie, Kitty, and Sarah would have been expelled after Elisabeth's surgery.

If you are uncomfortable with him sharing a class with you, speak to Miss Frost. I'm sure something could be arranged.

-Shinobi

...

[x-tarot.livejournal.com]

To: (Shinobi)
From: (Angie)
Subject: Manuel

Merde. Merde, merde, merde. That did not even occur to me. I have been a giant shit.

The second part, I .. will speak to Ms. Frost about as soon as I return. I am not even sure what happened. I had a bad precognitive episode, saw.. some girl standing next to Manuel, and he tried to make me explain it. The next thing I knew, I was seeing colours and had a headache the size of the old Soviet Republic.

If Manuel is willing to explain what happened, it would go a long way towards easing my fears. If he cannot change how I feel, I mind him knowing it much, much less. It may be a long time before I stop being angry with him for trying to make me tell him, but at the least, I can control my words.

Speech class has taught me that much, at the least.

~Angie

Re: ...

[x-shinobi.livejournal.com]

To: (Angie)
From: (Shinobi)
Subject: Re: Manuel

We all act a bit shitty when we're scared, luv. What matters is that you admit it - most people won't even do that much. Thank you, for that. You have no idea how large a relief it is.

Very odd.. the girl, I mean, not that he made you try to explain it. That's just depressing, especially after the thing with Mister Dayspring. Definitely something to talk to Miss Frost about.

I'll ask Moira if she thinks it's safe to touch on the subject.. I want you to get your explanation, because you deserve one. I'm just flying by the seat of my pants, here. But.. yeah. I'll ask Moira. May need to prepare for a bit of a wait, but.. wugh. I'm tired.

Thanks again, for the offer of Oreos. I'll take you up on them tomorrow, if the offer stands. Next thing on my agenda is begging Moira to let me go get some sleep.

-Shinobi