email to Lorna Dane
Mar. 26th, 2004 12:52 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_communicationto: Dane, Lorna
from: D'Ancato, Marie
subject: Angelo's post
I asked Angelo to take it down, yes, as his friend and nothing more. It was way out of line, and he was angry. He posted asking someone to kill Manuel for him and then suggested that Manuel kill himself and save everyone the trouble. Honestly, I don't give a damn what Manuel did to provoke that, no matter how horrible it was, because it wasn't about Manuel that I asked Angelo to take it down, it was about this place and the other people who have to read that kind of thing. I didn't just ask him to take it down, either. I talked to Angelo and took the time to make sure that he had the company and comfort he needed to recover from his confrontation with Manuel.
We know Manuel's a pain in the ass and he's got the self-control of a toddler. He's in intensive therapy and his public temper tantrum was pure childish pique. Him pouting that the only thing that will make him feel better is Angelo's head on a platter is very different than Angelo, who I expect to at least act his age, making a post asking someone to kill Manuel. There's just no comparison between the two. Yes, maybe there's a double standard but it's the double standard that's between adults and children, the competent and the incompetent.
If you want to talk double standards, Angelo has not been held under house arrest against his will and subjected to extreme measures to control his behaviour and abilities, neither has Amanda, nor has Alex, nor anyone else here who's lost control (or never had it) of their abilities or ethics and injured others. I know that Manuel has hurt you, I know he's hurt a lot of people, including at least one person whom I dearly love. On the other hand, he is a horribly damaged and incredibly dangerous person who needs help so that he doesn't keep on doing this to anyone, and part of that is treating him with kindness and decency where it's possible to do so. He is also frightened and hurt and suffering himself in addition to all of that and I can't ignore that as long as he's making an effort to change.
Don't mistake my request to Angelo as an attempt to censor him in favour of Manuel. Plain and simple, that had to do with the way this place has been running and given the amount of furor over what he did post, you can well imagine what would have happened if he'd left it up. I asked Angelo to remove that post as his friend who knows him and knows what he's like when he's not angry and I would rather have seen him remove the post then than apologize for it later.
Also, please don't assume that because I'm attempting to support and nurture Manuel right now that I condone anything that he's done. Of all the people in this house, he probably frightens me most, but I cannot ignore my conviction that this is something I have to do. I'm sorry if people see it as me siding with Manuel. It's not like that, I don't see sides. I see a lot of people in pain and I see a lot of damage, and I'm doing what I can where I think it will do the most good for everyone.
Marie
from: D'Ancato, Marie
subject: Angelo's post
I asked Angelo to take it down, yes, as his friend and nothing more. It was way out of line, and he was angry. He posted asking someone to kill Manuel for him and then suggested that Manuel kill himself and save everyone the trouble. Honestly, I don't give a damn what Manuel did to provoke that, no matter how horrible it was, because it wasn't about Manuel that I asked Angelo to take it down, it was about this place and the other people who have to read that kind of thing. I didn't just ask him to take it down, either. I talked to Angelo and took the time to make sure that he had the company and comfort he needed to recover from his confrontation with Manuel.
We know Manuel's a pain in the ass and he's got the self-control of a toddler. He's in intensive therapy and his public temper tantrum was pure childish pique. Him pouting that the only thing that will make him feel better is Angelo's head on a platter is very different than Angelo, who I expect to at least act his age, making a post asking someone to kill Manuel. There's just no comparison between the two. Yes, maybe there's a double standard but it's the double standard that's between adults and children, the competent and the incompetent.
If you want to talk double standards, Angelo has not been held under house arrest against his will and subjected to extreme measures to control his behaviour and abilities, neither has Amanda, nor has Alex, nor anyone else here who's lost control (or never had it) of their abilities or ethics and injured others. I know that Manuel has hurt you, I know he's hurt a lot of people, including at least one person whom I dearly love. On the other hand, he is a horribly damaged and incredibly dangerous person who needs help so that he doesn't keep on doing this to anyone, and part of that is treating him with kindness and decency where it's possible to do so. He is also frightened and hurt and suffering himself in addition to all of that and I can't ignore that as long as he's making an effort to change.
Don't mistake my request to Angelo as an attempt to censor him in favour of Manuel. Plain and simple, that had to do with the way this place has been running and given the amount of furor over what he did post, you can well imagine what would have happened if he'd left it up. I asked Angelo to remove that post as his friend who knows him and knows what he's like when he's not angry and I would rather have seen him remove the post then than apologize for it later.
Also, please don't assume that because I'm attempting to support and nurture Manuel right now that I condone anything that he's done. Of all the people in this house, he probably frightens me most, but I cannot ignore my conviction that this is something I have to do. I'm sorry if people see it as me siding with Manuel. It's not like that, I don't see sides. I see a lot of people in pain and I see a lot of damage, and I'm doing what I can where I think it will do the most good for everyone.
Marie
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