Email to Crystal

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

To: [Amaquelin, Crystal]
From: [Haller,David]
Subject:


Crystal-

The incident on Yvette Petrovic's journal yesterday was brought to the staff yesterday by Kyle Gibney. He believed his behavior to you was inappropriate, and as a consequence will be speaking to (at least) Dr. Samson and Ms. Munroe about his conduct. Behavior like this is a continuing problem for Kyle, and one that he recognizes. He's taking his own steps to deal with it, but in the meantime I thought you'd like to know what was going on.

On a more general note, if you're ever in a situation with another student that you feel you would prefer staff involvement in, please tell us. School policy is that we try to stay out of most incidents, barring actual physical assault, because many students prefer to handle inter-personal affairs on their own and get upset when teachers try to intervene in personal affairs. This works okay for most one-off arguments, but if you are truly bothered, or if the most recent incident is part of a pattern of larger behavior, please let us know -- we try our best to know the difference between necessary and unnecessary involvement, but these standards are highly personal for every student. If necessary the staff will definitely intervene, but it's sometimes difficult for us to tell when the participants consider this appropriate. If Kyle's actions on the journals bothered you and you do not feel like personally confronting him on this subject (though this would be what I would suggest, email or otherwise), I can talk to him on your behalf, or you on his, or mediate a discussion between the two of you. Let me know.


David Haller

Comments

[x-aerial.livejournal.com]

To: [Haller, David]
From: [Amaquelin, Crystal]
Subject: Yvette's journal

Mr. Haller,

I have already composed a email to Kyle and I have also written one apologizing to Yvette. Comments such as the ones that were written on Sunday by both Kyle and myself did not belong on her journal as they had absolutely nothing to do with her or playing in the snow. It is unfortunate that this took place on her journal and I do not want her to think that such words had anything to do with her.

Yes, Kyle's words on the journals bothered me, but I was also bothered by the ones preceding mine, which is why I said what I did. Usually, I refrain from making anything more than simplistic remarks on the journals, but I viewed the comments written by Jennie and Forge to be derogatory remarks. In retrospect, I am sure that Forge and Jennie were not trying to be cruel, but what they said upset me greatly.

I am tired of people treating me as though I am stupid because I come from a different culture. I am tired of hearing about how accepting everyone is when this has not been my experience and it has not been the experience of others. I believe that Kyle actually made my point for me. Everyone is supposedly allowed to speak in whatever manner he or she chooses, yet those of us who do not normally throw slang words into our speech or try to reference American pop culture are treated differently.

This is supposed to be a place of acceptance for those who need second chances, yet this is not always what happens. Those of us who do not fit into the ideal held by others are rejected, sometimes openly and sometimes in secret. This is not to say that everyone acts in this manner, but when the people who feel this way are the ones who make their feelings known and no one openly voices a differing opinion, the feeling of being rejected and attacked can be overwhelming.


Crystal

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

To: [Amaquelin, Crystal]
From: [Haller, David]
Subject: Re: Yvette's journal


First of all, emailing Yvette was a very good idea. It's never a bad thing to clarify your position to someone whose feelings might have been inadvertantly hurt. I'm sure Yvette really appreciates it.

As to the rest of what's going on, I've spoken with Kyle. Sometimes when people have struggled for a long time to accept themselves, or have lived among many people who won't, when it feels like you're being attacked
there's a degree of -- vehemence involved, I guess. Some of it (as I get the feeling you know first-hand now) is due to emotional fatigue. If you're dealing with the same problem for a long time, what patience you started with gets worn down after repeated hits. The concept of turning the other cheek is something we're encouraged to take to heart, but realistically there comes a point where it just doesn't feel possible. Unfortunately, I think both you and Kyle are experiencing similar problems, just on opposing sides -- him feeling like you don't accept him and his friends, for reasons beyond the cultural, and you feeling like he and the others doesn't accept you, and it just snowballed from there. Whether or not this was true for either of you isn't in question right now -- in this case it was the perception that mattered. You're both upset, and that's never invalid. It's just that in this case I'm just not sure it's about the same thing.

Okay. I've got Kyle's position, so I'll ask yours. Do you feel it's strictly the cultural aspect with the people here that's bothering you, or is this seeming personal?