E-mail to Crystal

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Crystal}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: Didn't we have a deal?

Attacked by dinosaurs, honestly? Is that what passes for entertainment with the student body these days?

Comments

[x-aerial.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Crystal]
Subject: [Re: Didn't we have a deal?]

Pietro,

I have two points to make to you. First of all, I did not break the deal. The deal was that you would avoid being involved in an explosion and I would avoid being kidnapped, brainwashed, possessed, and I would not leave this dimension. As going on a field trip and fighting dinosaurs was not on our "things to avoid list", our deal is still intact.

Secondly, this is a very interesting thing to hear from someone who happens to have a friend named Dr. Eddie Wyndham who happens to be interested in dinosaurs and just happened to be at the conservatory to greet us. Unless there are two Dr. Eddie Wyndhams who are interested in dinosaurs, in which case you have my apologies.

Crystal

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Crystal}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: Re: Didn't we have a deal?

You were still attacked. By dinosaurs. I think that's worth at least a free . . . assault and battery, maybe?

Yes, Eddie was involved. Chief Monster-Maker In Charge, in fact. But I hardly think I can be held responsible for anything he did. I knew him nearly a decade ago, and he wasn't insane then.

[x-aerial.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Crystal]
Subject: [Re: Didn't we have a deal?]

I beg to differ with your assessment of the situation as I was never actually attacked by a dinosaur. Did I cause some to fall to the ground and did I cause others to find themselves far away from me? Yes, but I was not bitten, scratched, stomped on, eaten, or in any other way hurt by the dinosaurs. Now, if you really want this assult and battery to occur, I will be more than happy to inform your sister of this fact.

Perhaps he only wanted you to think that he was sane when he actually was insane the entire time you knew him. I believe that your judgment in friends and associates has improved recently, yes?

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Crystal}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: Re: Didn't we have a deal?

I don't know, I have this one friend who seems to be addicted to splitting hairs . . .

You can be attacked by dinosaurs and still not actually be hurt by the dinosaurs. You need simply to cause them to fall on the ground, or find themselves far away from you.

There will be no need to arrange for either the assault or the battery, thank you.

[x-aerial.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Crystal]
Subject: [Re: Didn't we have a deal?]

Details and words are very important. This is why languages contain different words that mean approximately the same thing but to different degrees of meaning.

That is me attacking the dinosaurs, not the other way around. I saw them, they saw me... I never gave them the chance to actually attack. The only injury I received was a minor scratch, and that was from being dragged behind a tree by a classmate. I threw him at a dinosaur shortly after that. It was his idea, too.

Wanda will be disappointed, I'm sure.

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Crystal}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: Re: Didn't we have a deal?

Even if you specifically were never singled out by any of the dinosaurs for their particular attention, you were still part of the group of people that was attacked by the group of dinosaurs. Your sister had a conniption and I myself was in no small distress.

You threw one of your classmates at a dinosaur? Goodness. We'll be fitting you for a uniform someday at this rate.

[x-aerial.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Crystal]
Subject: [Re: Didn't we have a deal?]

Now I understand. You were worried about me. I am supposed to apologize for causing you to worry, yes? Fine. I am sorry that your clearly insane friend from almost ten years ago went crazy and left me, as well as the other students and three staff members, in a conservatory full of animals who should not have existed. Futhermore, I am sorry that he and the other clearly insane parties involved in this did not feed the dinosaurs enough, and that this led to the carniverous ones attempting to develop a taste for mutant flesh. I am also sorry that cell phones did not work there and that I did not abandon the group by flying off on my own.

It was Marius's idea. He is more than welcome to be fitted for a uniform should he choose to take that route, but do not expect me to do such a thing.

Really though, I am sorry that I inadvertently caused you worry yet again. You have one free "I was nearly blown to pieces" without fear of reprisal, although to be honest, you have the better end of our deal since I have multiple things that I am not allowed to do and you only have one. Therefore, I believe that our deal should be extended to include other various typical injuries that occur on X-Men missions.

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Crystal}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: Re: Didn't we have a deal?

I accept your apology. See, wasn't that easy?

And I am shocked--shocked, I tell you!--that you don't want to stuff yourself into a tight-fitting, stiff, restrictive leather bodysuit. Knowing you as I do I felt sure that you would simply leap at the offer. Clearly I will have to radically realign my view of the world.

This new dispensation of yours--I suppose getting knocked out by a blow to the back of the head would be on the list of proscribed acts?

[x-aerial.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Crystal]
Subject: [Re: Didn't we have a deal?]

Yes, it was very easy.

Oh, and you were so eager to be stuffed into one yourself? But of course, you are right; I want to wear one of those uniforms just as much as you want to teach a full courseload of classes here in the fall. Perhaps you are as eager to begin teaching as I am eager to be fitted for a stiff leather bodysuit that you do not want to wait until September and are planning on seeing if you can offer summer classes.

Well yes, naturally it would include getting... is this a future event that you are planning or did this already happen? What exactly did you do this weekend (while I was busy not being attacked by varius species of dinosaurs created by your old friend) that resulted in you getting hit on the back of your head? Did you go after your sister with the wall scroll?

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Crystal}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: Re: Didn't we have a deal?

I tell you what. As soon as you model one of the uniforms for me, I will teach a summer course.

It, ah . . . as it turns out, I went after my old friend. Who had mutant help I wasn't prepared for.

I don't have a concussion. Or cracked ribs. Or, unfortunately, my old friend. Saturday was not a good day for me.

[x-aerial.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Crystal]
Subject: [Re: Didn't we have a deal?]

No, not a summer course. I do not believe that many students wish to take classes during the summer and it is very likely that you would end up having a class without any students. It would have to be an actual full-term class with a decent amount of students, say ten or more.

You are lucky that he did not choose to have his mutant help kill you rather than simply hitting you on the head. I am now taking away your free "I was nearly blown to pieces" as being hit on the back of the head clearly falls in the category of "harmful events Pietro should avoid."

I had a rather interesting Saturday, although it is not one I would care to repeat. It was sad to witness the destruction of so many dinosaurs.

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Crystal}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: Re: Didn't we have a deal?

Ten? Are you trying to kill me?

Eddie's always been just a little squeamish, but you're right, I was lucky. And I will try to accept the loss of my freebie with dignity and grace.

Yes, it's a pity more of them couldn't have been saved, but far better them than you. They've been extinct once already, after all; presumably they're used to it.

[x-aerial.livejournal.com]

To: [Pietro]
From: [Crystal]
Subject: [Re: Didn't we have a deal?]

Eight, then? Seven at the least, as upon my arrival here I was told that a class of less than 15 students is considered a small class. You never know, you might discover that you actually like teaching. With the following statement, I will save you the trouble of writing a reply saying I might also discover that I like wearing the horrible uniforms many people at the mansion seem to enjoy wearing.

[x-ccelerate.livejournal.com]

To: {Crystal}
From: {Pietro}
Subject: Re: Didn't we have a deal?

I don't even have the slightest idea what I'd be hating to teach. Summers has the engineering handled, and nearly everything else I know is . . . well, the students around here know enough ways to get into trouble already, they don't need to know any more.

It would look good on you, whether you liked it or not. Except for the disgusted expression you'd probably have on your face, that is.