Email to Lorna from Ian Piers

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To: [Lorna]
From: [Ian]
Subject: baby

Baby! Wait, I said that. He's really cute.

Ian

Comments

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To: [Ian]
From: [Lorna]
Subject: Baby!

Cute baby, hmm? Must take after his mother.

You're always so verbose, Ian. I can hardly get through this tome of an email you've sent. I particularly liked how you covered important details like name, weight, length, when you're going to send me pictures and how everyone else is doing.

Reply email

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To: [Lorna]
From: [Ian]
Subject: you're weird.

They say he's six pounds or something like that. He's tiny. I thought I was going to break him. Isabel says she'll take pictures and send some to you because apparently I'm useless right now.

Ani's good but she scared the delivery room staff. There was a lot of yelling.

Michael Timothy. What did you think we were going to call him?

Ian

Re: Reply email

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To: [Ian]
From: [Lorna]
Subject: This surprises you?

Isabel is a wonderful person. I'm not at all surprised that you're useless in this situation.

Somehow I doubt the yelling scared them. Did she also rip holes into you?

I don't know. Fred is a nice name. Or Bob. It could have happened.

Lorna

Reply

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To: [Lorna]
From: [Ian]
Subject: well no.

They're all mocking me. But he's so little! And loud. Ani and I aren't loud. I suppose maybe he'll grow out of it?

Lots and lots of holes. They're all gone now which is too bad. I could have shown off the scars when he's all grown up and said 'See, this is how much your mother never wanted me to touch her again while you were being born'. Like a bonding thing.

Ian

Re: Reply

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To: [Ian]
From: [Lorna]
Subject: That's better.

...honey? Yeah, you are.

I hereby forbid you from ever bonding with your son about how his mother never wanted to have sex with you again. Because there is sure to be plenty else for him to talk about in therapy.

L

Subject: Okay, you've got a point.

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I fear the day he's old enough to start hearing the family stories. I fear it a lot.

Ian

PS: I am not loud. I only roar at people when they deserve it.

Subject: Duh

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Nathan will probably write it up in epic verse and present it to him on his sixth birthday. Then you can answer all his 'Daddy, what's eviscerate mean?' questions.

And you are totally loud.

Subject: our lives in poetry

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Scary thought. Anyway, I should go see if Ani needs anything. Pictures should be coming - Isabel ran off with the camera.

Ian

PS: NOT loud.