Email to Lorna

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

Because news travels fast.

To: [Lorna]
From: [Jim]
Subject: . . . are you kidding me.

In the foyer. With Shiro. At the top of your lungs, with school in session.

I understand you're upset, but are you five?

Are you actually, literally five years old?

Comments

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

To: [Jim]
From: [Lorna]
Subject: No.

And I'm not sorry either. Except about the vase. And my shirt. I really liked that shirt.

He shouldn't be here.

L

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

To: [Lorna]
From: [Jim]

Setting aside whether or not that's even a valid judgement, that's an issue you discuss with people in the position to make the call. Privately. You don't bottle, explode, and then expect to be retroactively vindicated after making a scene.

Right now the lake is looking real tempting.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

To: [Jim]
From: [Lorna]

Yeah? Well then go jump in it. The people in the position to make the call haven't.

L

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

To: [Lorna]
From: [Jim]

Okay. Fine.

You know better than this. I know it. I also know that you don't care, because it involves Alex.

I know seeing him hurt makes you angry, and I know enough about his past to understand why you want to protect him, but you're going about this wrong. After everything that happened, you're the one Alex came to because he needs stability and support. Basically, because he needs an adult to help him through all this.

So how are you helping him by throwing a tantrum at Shiro like one kid hitting another for kicking through their best friend's sandcastle on the playground?

Alex needs a friend, not an avenger. If you really want to be there for him, remember that.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

To: [Jim]
From: [Lorna]

Don't you dare tell me what Alex needs. You hardly know him.

Yeah, he's dealing with this. Even though he shouldn't have to. He never should have had to come to me of all people. Christ, how does it make any kind of sense that I'm the one he had to come to? That he had to leave his own home while the junkie gets to stay?

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

To: [Lorna]
From: [Jim]

Okay. Let's just breathe for a minute, okay?

I know this isn't easy for you, and please don't try to turn it back around to Alex. I know this is probably going to get me glass in my food, but I think one of the reasons you have such a problem with Shiro is you feel like you've hurt Alex in the past, and you weren't okay with it even at the time. Now that you see it him getting hurt again, you feel like you have to do whatever you can to help him -- because you still feel responsible for that first time. You're mad at Shiro for what he did, and you're mad at yourself for what you did, and because there's nothing you can do about it you've compromised by being mad at the universe.

I don't know Alex like you do, but I do know what it's like to have my entire life shifted 90 degrees to the right without warning. You do, too. We can at least agree that stability from those we're depending on helps, right? I know it's a lot to ask you to forgive Shiro right now, but for Alex's sake maybe you should try to forgive yourself.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

To: [Jim]
From: [Lorna]

...I hate you so much.

I hurt him first. Told him to leave and he did. He ended up with Selene. You've read that mission report, right? I forget, is the part where they told me that there was nothing they could do to find him and bring him back because it was his choice to leave in there? Because that was my favorite.

It's not that I don't think he can stand up for himself. It's that he won't. And that he shouldn't have to take this on again and again without help.

And that I really really wanted to hit Shiro.

Probably most the last part.

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

To: [Lorna]
From: [Jim]

I don't know -- if you're worried that he won't stand up for himself, doesn't it make more sense to help him with that than fight his battles for him? Punch a man's enemy, and he's safe for a day. Teach him to fight, and he's safe for a lifetime. Or something with the same message, but phrased better.

Okay, so it would deprive you of the pleasure of hitting Shiro, but everybody's gotta make sacrifices.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

To: [Jim]
From: [Lorna]

I've known Alex since I was 19 years old. In that time, I have seen him hit one person. One. You really think he's going to do it himself?

And Shiro needed punching. If this was Arkansas that would be justification enough.

[x-legion.livejournal.com]

To: [Lorna]
From: [Jim]

You want to go with Arkansas as a means to justify revenge? Really?

And I don't know. If Alex is reluctant to stand up for himself, isn't that more reason to work with him on it? David spent his childhood not fighting back either, and we know how well that ended.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

To: [Jim]
From: [Lorna]

I'd totally punch someone for you too.