Email to Forge

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

From: (SO DEAD)
To: (HALP!)
Subject: VALENTINE'S DAY? SHIT!

What the hell do I do? I've never done this before? AUGH!

Comments

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

To: [In Deep]
From: [In Just As Deep!]
Subject: CRAP ON TOAST!

Holy shit! It's this week? CRAP! I have no classes tomorrow! I have a fast car! We're going into the city!

What in the hell do we do? Like *I've* done this before?

We need to ask Marius! He has, like, twelve girlfriends at any given time, right?

JHF

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

To: (Won't get ported into space)
From: (Won't cause international war)
Subject: Dude, that's gross.

I HAVE... wait, no, I don't. I already wrote that essay. Eff that, I'm skipping history for the sake of NOT GETTING SPACED.

I don't know! Stupid holiday! And Clarice is still half-nuked so I can't punk out or half-ass this! I SUCK! WTF? It's Clarice. She's purple! I can't just cheap out and get the boring-ass "five minutes in the mall" shit.

WHAT THE HELL Makes you think asking MARIUS is a good idea, dude? He doesn't date, he just has SEX!

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

To: [Bound for orbit]
From: [Possibly bound for the dungeons]
Subject: YOU'RE gross.

Okay. Okay. Most stores in the city open early tomorrow. I'm sure they'll be stocked for last-minute gift buying. It's practically its own industry.

I'm sure Marius has had a deep emotional connection to a woman before. For at least thirty-five minutes or so.

What are YOU going to do? What am I going to do?

We need a plan.

JHF

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

To: (Worst excuse for a war EVER)
From: (In orbit without a space suit)
Subject: Your MOM is gross.

It IS an industry, dude. Have you seen the mall this month? RED FUCKING EVERYWHERE. I can't go in half the stores because they stink like stinky face flower stink.

Okay, okay. Plan. Plan plan ... I am SHIT at plans.

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

To: [Guildenstern]
From: [Rosencrantz]
Subject: We're so dead.

Okay. We just have to think this through tactically. Like a Danger Room exercise. WWCD? What Would Cyclops Do?

Wait. He's dealing with his wife thinking she was eleven. Bad call.

Who do we know that probably has all this planned out? WWPWD? What Would Pete Wisdom Do?

Does Clarice need anyone killed? Is that romantic? Crap!

JHF

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

To: (Bink)
From: (Tag)
Subject: Deader then dead.

Pete Wisdom? WTF, dude? He's like, James Bond with less hotties. Unless he has some hotties and nobody told us?

Fuck. Who knows stuff about romance? Fuckityfuck. I don't know anyone who knows this stuff who isn't OLD!

[x-forge.livejournal.com]

To: [Rogue Six]
From: [Red Leader]
Subject: STAY ON TARGET!

Dude, he's the coolest person I could think of on short notice. He probably has hotties. They're probably like, Venezuelan or something.

Okay. We'll just get in the car and hit the stores. It can't be that hard. People do this all the time. We'll go to New York, we'll get Valentine's Day gifts for our girlfriends. And they will think we are awesome, right? Right?

JHF

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

To: (Wedge)
From: (Biggs)
Subject: You're not doing any good back there!!

Yeah, but I don't want to get killed in the FACE by asking him. Besides, do YOU have his phone number, because I sure as fuck don't.

Right! Right, we can be awesome.

God, we're so dead.