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x-shinobi.livejournal.com posting in

To: Xavier, Charles; Summers, Scott; Samson, Leonard
CC: Blaire, Alison; Mactaggart, Moira
From: Shaw, Shinobi
Subject: Sarah.

Cheers,

It's been just about two weeks since Sarah was told she couldn't see the boys unsupervised, and I'm finally worried enough by her lack of forward (or backward, or any) movement that I'm pinging the lot of you. She's scaring the piss out of me.

Won't come out of the basement, unless it's absolutely necessary. Won't come out of her corner, when she's there. She's cried, and more than once, with actual tears - she'd told me before her mutation prevented her from doing that (hence the CC to Moira - should we be worrying about this, doctor?). She doesn't want to be cut off from them, but she doesn't seem to be kicking over to write the bloody e-mail I asked her to consider about looking into what she could be doing to start fixing things.

I don't know what to do here, or if I should be doing anything at all. Help?

-Shinobi

Current Mood: worried

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From:

x-shinobi.livejournal.com

Brace yourself, because I'm tired, I'm scared, and I'm just going to say everything on my mind right now - it isn't going to be pretty, it's going to be harsher than it needs to be, but I'm too tired to try and edit it for public consumption. That's why I'm only sending it to you - I trust you to read into it how I intend for it to sound. Okay? Okay.

Now, I love you like a brother, Scott, and if it makes you feel any better, I already know all of this.

However, you don't just stand on the pier and watch someone drown. You throw them a lifesaver, you jump in and get them, you call for help, anything but just standing there and watching somebody die.

Sarah is drowning, and if one more person tells me we can't do anything to help if she doesn't make the first move, I swear to God, I'm going to snap at somebody, and I don't want that to happen. She isn't going to make the first move, Scott, and no matter how many times I try to remind people of this fact, they pat me on the head, say I can talk to them, offer me distractions until she does what I know she's never going to do. It isn't helping.

I love her, and I love this school. From where I'm standing, both parties are acting like idiots, and I'm drawing a line for both of them.

Someone is going to throw her a lifesaver, or there's probably going to be a corpse in that basement before long. I'm not keen on waiting another two weeks for it to happen. She's. Getting. Help.

If this school won't give it to her, I will find someone who will. This is about more than her killing people and having the boys taken from her, at this point. Forget all of that. There is a woman in your house who is depressed, in agony, crying herself to sleep every night, and I'm pretty sure she's convinced I'm the only one here who gives a rat's ass about that fact. I'm beginning to wonder if she's right. She died last month, Scott. She is not. Dealing. With. Anything. And. She. Needs. HELP. GIVE IT TO HER.

-Shinobi

From:

x-cyclops.livejournal.com

But I'm not going to argue with you about it over email. I'm merely going to point you in Charles' direction. Go and talk to him, Shinobi - to him, not at the safe remove of email. You can write the rest of us off as judgemental and callous if you want, but you need to realize that there is no way he is not monitoring her. No way that he's going to let it come to a corpse in the basement so long as she's under his roof. The very fact that he hasn't taken drastic measures yet should tell you something: she may be floundering, but she's not in danger of drowning, because there's no way in hell he would let that happen.

I'll leave it there. Email arguments are not the most productive thing in the world, like I said. Feel free to come break something over my head if you want - God knows it sounds like you could use the opportunity to vent a little - but the time would probably be better spent talking to Charles.

Scott

From:

x-shinobi.livejournal.com

I wasn't trying to start an arguement, Scott. I did say not to take what I said at face value - fatigue and worry do little for one's ability to smooth out what they're saying. It lets the extremes come out to play. I was bringing my concerns to you, Charles, and a few others on the staff, like you had asked me to when I had concerns, rather than up and doing something about it myself.

For the record, I don't see you or the others as judgemental and callous. She killed people. There is no getting around that, no way to dress it up in frilly clothes and make it look better. I just don't think the current approach is working, and wanted to see if there were any alternatives, because I'm afraid we're losing her. She isn't moving forward, she isn't moving backward, she's just staying still, with nothing to do but grow more and more convinced that she's the monster in the basement, beyond all hope, the last of her kind. I don't think that's healthy for her. That's all.

I'm still not used to living with someone of Charles' abilities - I forget that he can, quite literally, keep an eye on us and make sure we're safe, no matter where in this house we are. Thank you for reminding me - you have no idea how much it helps.

As for venting.. that's what the morning run and workout are for. They concuss you less, so I consider them a plus.

-Shinobi