E-Mail to Nori

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

to: [the mute]
from: [the asshole]

Nori, I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say beyond that. I know you're mad at me for lying and for not talking to you and telling you about me and Jay, but I don't even know how to make up for it. I don't want you to stay mad at me and I don't want you to never talk to me again. I just don't know what I can do to actually fix things. What do you want me to do?

Comments

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

I don't know, Kevin. Not like you've given me a lot of reason to trust you these days...

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Nori, it was one thing. Something I didn't want anyone to know anyway. I haven't given you any other reasons to not trust me, have I?

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

I need more than one? Like this wasn't big enough?

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

No, actually it wasn't. My boyfriend and whether or not I choose to share that information isn't a damn betrayal even if I did lie about it because it's my boyfriend and obviously rather personal business in the first place.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

I don't like being lied to.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Do you have no concept of scale? I lied about a boyfriend, not about killing your puppy or anything that actually matters in the grand scheme of things.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

You know what, fuck you. This is not just about Jay. You didn't lie about anything that matters? You think it doesn't matter that you told me the only way I have to communicate with anyone was wrong?

~Translated from Japanese~

これ簡単でしょう？これ私よく知ってる。お前全然知らないけどそれは問題ないでしょう？腐ったバラ族。お前何でも分かないよ。

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Infer tone Nori, just like everyone else does when reading. Everyone knew I didn't actually mean your translator thing was wrong. Phrasing kind of gave that away and you know I didn't mean it about the translation program!

Jesus, Nori, it wasn't about the damn translator for me! Sorry you took that but you know you're going kind of crazy over something that is not half as big a deal as you're making it, right?

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

You try reading tone when everything you see's gone through a computer before it even becomes comprehensible. Everyone knew that? Everyone but me, fuck-head.

It was about that, to me. It was about Jay and the computer and this fucking school and everything. It was about how no one knows anything and it's all lies and I can't sleep and I don't understand and I just want to go home and I never want to go back there and fuck you cause you don't even know.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Yeah and who's the one not talking to the other person now? At least I came to you. I tried to apologise, to understand why you were mad at me and now you give me this whole list of stuff that you never brought up?! Most of which has never come up with us, Nori! None of it, how the hell am I supposed to know?

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

You're not. No one is.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Hi, here talking, typing, whatever! You're the one going on about how everything is lies and you hate this place and you want to go home but never do. Seriously, what the fuck, Nori?

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

I don't... I just... I...

Fuck it. I need a drink.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I ask and you don't answer. Know the meaning of the word hypocrite?

Don't get upset because I don't get it when you don't tell me.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

At least I'm not pretending there's nothing. I just don't want to talk about it.

You want to know, find me enough liquor to forget I'm telling you. Cause I don't want to remember right now.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I never pretended anything. It didn't come up, I didn't bring it up. It wasn't like someone went "hey, Kevin, how about that gay guy you're dating?" and I was like "I have no idea what you're talking about." I'm sorry if you thought I said that because you couldn't read the tone of my words. I didn't know that you couldn't.

That much liquor and you'd ramble to me in Japanese and not be able to type. You'd be drunk and I still wouldn't know.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

Well, it didn't come up with me, either, until it did, and then when it did I didn't claim it didn't.

If I tell you, will you get me drunk afterwards? There is nothing I wouldn't do for enough liquor right now.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, it's not like I stayed with the not talking about it for long after.

If you tell me I promise to get you drunk after.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

Yeah, there is that.

I... It was...

Fuck. Maybe there is something I won't do for liquor.

Where do I start?

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

The beginning usually works best.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

The beginning is my forty-something ex-boyfriend I almost killed.

Or possibly the prescription sleeping pills I used to con my father out of.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

Almost, but didn't actually kill. That's an important distinction, Nori.

Okay now I'm slightly confused. To overdose or just to calm your head down?

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

To sleep. I couldn't. Can't, still, but I didn't know then it was the power. So I'd take the pills and sleep, but then I'd need more. And then more. And then the thing with Mr. Ishii, and I ran out of pills. So it became other things - things which were stronger, worked better. And I had to find ways to pay for them. So I did.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

So how'd you get from that to here?

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

The short version is that an old classmate spotted me coming off a train, tipped a cop off and they handed me over to my parents who shipped me out of the country where I couldn't embarrass them.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

So you can't go back because of the family shame thing? Sorry if I sound dumb, but ya gotta remember I don't have any family and mine wouldn't have done that so it's kind of...foreign.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

I don't want to go back. They don't want me, and I'd probably end up on the streets again.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I can understand that.

So why do you hate it here so much? Other than the language problems.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

The language, the rules, the teachers and doctors and everything. At least on the streets I didn't have people telling me what to do.

Also, there was more liquor. Hint, hint.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

But you can leave eventually, right? They can't make you stay after you're 18, can they? I'm stuck here until someone says I can go.

Yeah, I know. I promised, I'll make good on it.

[x-kaminari.livejournal.com]

~Translated from Japanese~

Yeah. Just don't know how safe it is.

Coming to find you.

~Translated from Japanese~

[x-wither.livejournal.com]

I'm in my suite.