Email to Dayspring, Nathan

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From: de la Rocha, Manuel
To: Dayspring, Nathan
Subject: Ethics

So what, precisely, is wrong with my ethics? They're supple enough to deal with changing realities, and ... well, that's all that really counts.

They're quite supple. I am growing adept at adapting them to changing circumstances. This is how things _should_ be.

Manuel

Comments

no, actually...

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...I know that you're going to change your ways, in the end. It may not be to my ways, but it'll happen. Your kind of naivete never lasts for very long.

In the user/used dichotomy, how do you account for... genuine acts of altruism? Say, religiously motivated? Or maybe - if I understood what you did say about your Askani dream in reply to the Professor's post - self-sacrifice in order to save others?

Stupidity?

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Altruism is usually using others to make yourself feel superior. Or, in the case of religion, using yourself or others to make God feel good.

Self-sacrifice for others - that's tougher. I'd say at first blush that it's using the circumstance out of a misguided attempt to appear to be better than you actually are.

But that's a tough one. Many different possibilities.

Manuel

oh, such cynicism!

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It makes my jaded little heart glow.

All right, let's drop the religious issue for the time being. Not sure how I feel on the subject anyway, so it's probably a questionable example.

Self-sacrifice for others - if you die for someone, are you around to accept their gratitude or admiration? As for it being misguided, just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it doesn't make any sense. Hypothetically... if someone was pointing a gun at a person you cared about, what would you do?

Nathan

Realism, perhaps.

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I'm an empath, and I have been to church. I have not felt God.

As for self-sacrifice - it's your legacy, your memory, that would be improved by your actions.

I would destroy the person holding the gun and protect those I cared for. That's what power is -for-.

Manuel

And if that scenario happened today?

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If someone was pointing a gun at Amanda, if she couldn't fight back, and you were without your powers? If you were on the wrong side of the room and couldn't get to the person with the gun in time? What would you do?

All right. Now I'm having flashbacks to Keanu Reeves movies...

Nathan

Who?

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I would, at the very least, avenge if I could not prevent.

Honor demands no less.

Manuel

vengeance...

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...would not make the gaping hole in your mind go away, Manuel. Or minimize your pain one iota. But enough of that particular hypothetical. It troubles me.

Let's take a step back. How would you define ethics, anyway?

Nathan

No, it wouldn't...

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But there is a price to be paid for links, and one of them is vulnerability.

How would I define ethics? Hrm. Good question. I don't really care. Ethics are how you behave.

Manuel

uh-huh...

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Then why do most languages have their version of the word 'unethical'?

Nathan

Because...

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when people behave in a way that is inconvenient, uncomfortable, or illegal for you, you claim that they are unethical.

Fairly simple, really.

Manuel

you really do have all the facile answers, don't you?

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So you would call being forced to wear that dampener unethical?

Nathan

Hrm.

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Forcing me to wear it, perhaps, is unethical. But I can see the benefit, so I do not protest it too much.

Anymore.

It's a benefit of power. Xavier has it, I do not, therefore he can impose his will upon me and there is precious little I can do about it. He has things I want, so in order to get them, I play his game.


Manuel

you would disturb people less...

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...if you ceased referring to everything as a game. It gives you a rather feline air which makes people instinctively distrust you.

But apart from that, I'm interested and possibly a little encouraged. What do you see as the benefit to you in wearing that dampener?

Nathan

I think...

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that sanity is a large enough benefit, don't you?

But it _is_ a game, that's the beauty of it? It's an elaborate game - or would you prefer I refer to it as a dance? It is move and countermove, action and reaction.

It's glorious, really.

Manuel

okay...

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Here's the thing, Manuel. It's not a game, or a dance. It's people. The more you depersonalize them, the deeper a hole you're going to dig yourself.

Have you ever heard the lifeboat question? If you're on a sinking ship and escape in a lifeboat with a pregnant woman, a great artist, a child, and a scientist with the cure for cancer, and it's going to sink unless one of you gets out, who goes in the water?

Nathan

The artist.

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The pregnant woman would be killing two lives, the child has its entire life ahead of it, the scientist could potentially save millions of lives.

The artist, in this scenario, is useless. Get rid of him!

Manuel

interesting...

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Do you want to know my answer? (Of course you do.)

Either myself, or the person in the boat who swims the best.

Nathan

And that's your choice to make

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I want to live. I have most of my life ahead of me.

You're old. Step aside for somebody younger.

;)

Did I use the smiley right? Amanda has been showing them to me.

Manuel

I see...

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Well, here's hoping the pregnant lady and the little kid gang up on you and dunk your ass if you ever find yourself in that situation.

Put Amanda in the place of the artist, then.

Nathan

Not fair!

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You're just making this all up to make me look bad.

Do you have a _point_? I'll toss them _all_ off the boat if Amanda and I get to live.

It's that simple.

Manuel

actually, very fair...

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Because as far as I can tell, Amanda is the key to your conscience (if you can call it a conscience when it's still in the fetal stages). I'm trying to map out its limits, that's all.

But again, we come back to the idea that your choices--no, that life is simple. Do you really believe that it is, deep down, or do you just wish it was?

Nathan

Life is as simple or as complex as you make it.

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That's what Samson tells me.

Manuel

and that's what we call...

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...avoiding the question.

I think you want it to be simple, Manuel. I think you see in black and white - it reflects in all of your philosophical constructions - and I think it terrifies you when you have to face up to the fact that the world isn't like that. So you call it a game, or you start babbling about how your life is yours and no one is ever going to take your freedom away from you again.

You're not much more, in those moments, than an abused animal reacting out of fear, on instinct. And before you take umbrage at me insulting you, that's a description I would apply to myself at some moments, even now.

Nathan

Name-calling?

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Really.

I am sorry if my wanting to be me offends you. If my desire to protect those I am close to offends you. If my refusal to throw my life away for someone else offends you.

There is really not much else I can say about it. I have my own way of living, and you have yours. I prefer Brits, you go in for Scots. You like redheads, I apparently like bad dyejobs.

I do what I must, and you ... I do not know. Once, I would have throught that you did whatever you had to, but now? I do not know what I think.

Manuel

not name-calling...

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An analogy, and an accurate one.

I'm not saying you need to throw your life away for anyone, Manuel. I'm certainly not saying that you shouldn't protect those you care about. In the end, though, it's the 'wanting to be you' that's the trickiest of the three.

If you damage the lives of people around you, trying to be you... that's wrong. Call it my opinion if you want, but that won't change the facts. One person's rights stop when their fist, either literal or figurative, impacts with another person's nose. You may reject that position, but there's a reason it's survived in one form or another for so long.

Nathan